spinning my head

I wonder how i pass through my night ytd..........
i told myself that i am god damn sleepy...
so i will sleepy through the night...

the fact is i didnt even know am i asleep or am i awake...
i feel craziness feeling in me...
didnt even know how clarify whether asleep or awake...
i feel so damn....

people keep telling me..
not to think of it, then it will be fine...
i would wanna ask back them 1 question..
how to do? i just dunno how...
thought just pump out without i tried to think of it..

exactly same situation happen once again...
all feeling from 3 years ago came out...
i feel freak out now...

people... do not mind me for showing temple on u all..
stop petting me or ask me am i ok?
stop asking why this happen, i dun wan to explain to anyone.

wth do u all wan me to tell u?
I AM GOD DAMN NOT HAPPY, I AM GOD DAMN UPSET NOW!
AND I M NOT OKAY !
i try very hard to hold my tears...
plz dun ask me rubbish question to make me pour out my tears...
every know i am crying baby...
once u touch my weak point, my tears wont stop...
so just take me as normal .....

i m so terrified to go online..
fear to on my msn, fear to on my facebook...
i dun wan to see anything....
i just dun wan....

my head is so heavy....
spinning and spinning...

where will i fall again.....