smallhead's dreamland

Real Cool

2011-05-03T00:17:00.002+08:00

Have u ever experience a buckle of cold water pour on top of your head when you are so up for something else? what you really dream off is only 1 step far away from you. your hope just "pla" , been switched off like a switch.

well..

i just experienced it by my closest family member.

how was my feeling now?

basically disappointment contained 99% and 1 % is upset.

is really a simple things but ppl just don't willingly to lend a hand to u.

just feel sad when doing comparison.

if same things happen on another family, would the family members react the same as well?

how strong is the bond of the family actually?

i started to reconsider my stand point on human nature.

so is human nature selfish just like what thomas hobbes has mentioned in his books?

i m really wondering ...

it is definitely not a long post tonight.

i got my final examination at not more than 7 hours time.

i m depressing.

what the ****

First post in 2011

2011-04-30T06:04:00.001+08:00

Today or tonight is the first time of the year I decided to blog... It has been months I never blog..

It was a sleepless night ... Everyone is sleeping soundly except me..
Brain was hyperactive tonight... Just keep thinking n thinking n thinking... Wat should be the right choice... There is so many things in my brain...

Was expecting to read up smtg tonight but I think the post was deleted ... I didn't get to read it.. I tot it would help to make up my mind.. I guess I jus have to rely on my dearest mind to sort things out...

Now, music is surrounding me.. I hear no sound from the night but music from iPod..

Hello emo... Long time no see ya...
I m not very sure y m I emo but I m real emo now...

Blank

Suddenly... I jus dunno Wat should I write...

Fb was closed for 1 week.. Surprising I can survive so well without it.. Lmao.. So, dear fb even there is a day u going to close down.. It won't has any effect on me!! I can conclude I m not a Facebook mania!!

How can I stand it? Maybe the hidden reason was much more stronger until I can totally ignore it...

I still rmb my lecturer commented me .. I m a person tat when I don't want to listen to something.. I have the talents of switching off my mind n ignore it totally.. Y it doesn't work when I need it?? I just wanna switch off my mind now... Maybe I m jus coward .. But I really dun feel like facing it...

A decision
An answer

Wat would be the best choice?
Wat would be the right choice?
Wat would be the one I really want?
It is really wat my heart want?

I was commented as a person who has a heart problem. I locked my heart so well until no one can unlock it... What was the issue tat cause me to put a double lock on it?? My lecturer asked me to figure it out if not this things will drag me forever..

I know Wat was the main issue..
... Relationship ...
But which part of relationship tat double lock my heart, I really have no idea...

Is 6 am, n I m still awake.

Brain dead.

A korean song from secret garden really triggered my emotion...
I jus tears for nothing .. Plainly Becuz of the song..

The power of music =]

Hello bloggy.. I think I will need u for a while...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:On my bed

新起点

2010-09-18T18:26:00.001+08:00

把不适和的给完全删除。。。
寻找对的人

快点出现吧。。

等待分享者 =＞

the power of music

2010-05-20T20:48:00.004+08:00

it was misery day.

knowing tis semester will be a disaster semester...
but didnt expect the first week already skewed me so well...

due to some incident.
i was really god damn upset. yes, it wasn't the first time i feel upset for the pass few months.
but today is the first time i feel i am so alone, which i don't really have anyone to be with in the college.
seeing the time flies... and i have nothing to do...

with situation i facing, i just couldn't stop crying in reading room
after all, wat i really get, is tis kind of treatment.
cool.

i feel so shy to cry in the reading room..
but i just can't control my tears at all...
i try to focus on my philosophy notes but my brain just can't swift my concentration to it..
i feel so hurt to receive those kind of treatment that i have never receive in the college.
i tried so hard to stop my tears, but it just didn't work..

i just realize i wasnt able to control tears is because of my itouch.
apparently, all the music in my itouch are super sad and emo songs.
i just can't help crying while listening to them.
i wasn't willingly to let go my music because i know i am all alone there now.
without the music, i would really have nothing now.

broken heart with super sad song.
i just break down in college.

for a moment i did managed to control my tears and tried to listen more on happy songs.
but the moment jye came in the room and talked to me.
i immediately burst into tears,
and pack my things asap to leave the room.

luckily, at least jye was there for me for 30 minutes.
finally, i found someone to have lunch with me.
thanks for precious stact club time, u tried to arrange for me.

i just feel so glad at least there are someone for me, when i just feel so helpless.
a person to have lunch with me, while i m so hungry but don't willingly to have lunch alone.
i miss all my dear classmates =( but they have psychology class to go on, and they just cant be with me.

30 minutes talks with jye. he even tried to talk politic stuff to swift my concentration.
until 1 moment i burst into tears again..
he said tat, i have been rejected many guys propose and broke their heart in the past.
so tis is karma i am receiving now.
tis is wat happening now? so, tat is the things i going through now?
is was my turn being rejected and being hurt?
even though it was hurt sentences =p, but i really appreciate that at least there are someone else to tease me. =)

after my lunch,
i was struggling whether to skip or go for my philosophy class.
i sat in front of CAE office stair, looking at cars, making my decisions.

while my darlings found me sitting there, once again, i burst into tears.
so glad the girls were with me tat time now.
i was so upset with the treatment received after my sales management class.
the first time, i really totally break down in college, keep crying on the stair even though there are so many ppl passing by. i lose control and keep crying.

i was so indecisive whether to enter philosophy class. it was a very tough class, if i skipped the class, it is difficult for me to follow the next class.
my mood was so unstable. i have a pair of swollen eyes and a strawberry nose.
i am shy to enter class, fear to show everyone my deadly face.
something make me more worry is that i just afraid i would burst into tears in class again.
12.35pm
i decided to enter class.
i went to toilet to wash my face, hoping it would ease my eyes and nose.
i met my psychology lecturer in the toilet, was trying to hide from her and dash into the toilet.
shy. i feel so shameful to let ppl see my ugly face.

i m glad i enter the classmate while the class is showing documentary video.
the class is dark so no one can see i have a pair of swollen eyes and strawberry nose.
i breath. thanks god.
in class, was pretending nth have happen and act as happy as possible.
laugh loud, be active, be talkative.
i am so fear that people would find out i just cried and the effect of 2 hours cries.
after class end, i used my faster speed to runaway from class.

thanks for classmate who willingly turn back to pick me up.
at least, finally i leave the hell place.

now
college is declared as hell for me. not even college, the whole area of subang is such a disaster to me.
i hate to go subang including college now.
every morning, i fight against my conscience. GO or NOT GO?
tis sentences struggle me for few hours.
did i sleep last night? i don't know
maybe i did nap for a while.

basically, my body is so tired, but my brain just don't willingly to put me to sleep.
god damn it.
would u mind to give me a good night sleep or granted me a better life.
for the pass few month.
not even 1 good things really happen on it.
i just keep hearing ppl rejecting me, losing things, bad luck.
i am so offended with the rejection.

next monday.
is will be another challenge.
2 hours being alone. will i have the courage to go eat alone tis time?
after today, i realized the fact that human are the cruelest animal in the world.
i have never felt so hurt and today incident just totally break me into pieces.
the bond between human is so freaking weak, no matter how great it to be, but as long as it clash with person's benefit and dignity. the bond is just nothing at all. it just vanish immediately.
how fragile it is.

fear.

my heart now is full of fear.

next week.
fear of loneliness.
but i try to get through it. at least go eat alone. =)
i will not expect anything more. i dare not to hope.
the hope or the expectation today just break me into pieces. i hope it would be a karma next time.
wat are u still hoping? there is nothing.
angie, it just 7 weeks more.
run through it.

at least today there are some nice part
stupid danny always pretending don't care or bother of his gf.
but to get his gf bday present, he walked few hours to search for it.
a guy who are currently so damn broke, even trying to skip meal to buy the bday present for his gal.
even though is kinda silly to skip meal for the expensive present, but i do see how much he really care for his gal. mouth also said dun care dun care but actually care like hell.
the face expression tat shown on his face when he couldn't get his gal favorite color on tat item impressed me.
i know she will love your present. the present include your effort and sincerity.
all the best dude.

2 more hours my day end.
no more disaster for the future day.
tq
i only want good news and good things happen on me.
tq

傻笑

2010-05-19T23:09:00.003+08:00

原来最难过的时候，
傻笑竟然是最适当的回答。。

为什么会傻笑？
也不知道，才发现原来最难过的时候竟然是哭不出来。。。

无奈地傻笑。。

心痛是什么？
我不知道
可能是太痛了，麻木了

属于你的我的初恋

2010-05-19T21:05:00.002+08:00

属于你的我的初恋

just finish watch a Japanese movie aka the first love belong to you and me.
i always give high compliment on Japanese love movie...

hmm...suddenly i just stone there...
i got a lot of thoughts after i watch that movie..
anyway, it is a sad ending again...

is that a criticism on there ain't happy ending in the world?
we only name it as the most beautiful love when there are a sad ending and unfulfilled promises left over?

dunno why, lately i just can't cry for movie anymore..
i think my tears are drained after all things have happen...
i read the comment of movie, so many people cry while watching it...
i do feel the same pain as well... but there is just no tears to be shed...

tis few night..
i didnt get good sleep at all.....
too many dreams and constantly wake up at middle of the night....
i just hate the feeling... i hate the feeling waking up middle of the night and waiting for the time to fly fast...
1 minute, 2 minutes, 3 minutes, 4 minutes....
crazy time...

is just a moment to be pass?
so when is the actual moment and when will it pass?
i am waiting for the right moment...

millons things flying through my head every second...

how would be better if it was a simple world...

i wish to be in my dreamland only...

f**ked up

2010-05-18T20:45:00.007+08:00

ok,
i m writing a post on gossip girl..
since my drama kaki not around...

yes...i am acting as a spoiler to ppl have not watch last episode season of gossip girl..
I AM GOD DAMN SURPRISE WITH THE ENDING....
my jaws is still down now...

gossip girl always give me ending which i never think before...
it will be the most unexpected drama i had watch so far...
especially the season3 ending...
OMG...
how can tis happen... swt swt swt...
MY chuck bass kena shot
swt swt swt...

i am just kinda spamming my blog...
since i dun have anyone to talk to now....
hahahaa......

after an hour ....

but now i do feel
f**ked up now...

i wasnt in a good mood...
i just feel like crying now...

i dun like to stay in college now..
because there are few hours i need to be alone myself since other classmate taking different subj with me and they have class...
now i have extra 2 hours more to be alone.......

the shittest now..
due to car sent to repair..
i force to follow my classmate to reach college at 7++am..
i do feel damn f**Ked up...

my sis which refuse to leave the house at 9am becuz she dun wan to go office early which she normally have to work at 10++
due to her unwillingly to reach office in less than an hour earlier, so i m force to reach college more than 2 hours early.....

wat the hell...
aiks... i just feel dunno how now..
my heart like going to stop beating...
actually it was very small things...
maybe it just becuz of my unsteady mood...
it just drag me down the hell.....

2 hours nonsense time again...

tonight gonna sleep early..
i need more sleep onwards...

Friday

2010-05-14T20:20:00.002+08:00

there are thought spinning around in my mind..
i feel kinda dizzy now...

i had a great afternoon today...
it was a great outing...

finally this is the time u tell about your things more than i tell my things..
haha... sometime be a listener is nice too...

2 more days...
college reopen...

this is the first time, i am feel so depress the holidays end so soon...
the holidays end so soon until i have not prepare for it yet...
i just not prepare for the college reopen
not only physically but also mentally...

i feel the fear now...

today i went to watch movie with my best fren
i watch Nightmare on the elm street...

ok, my fren said it is not scary at all and the story is predictable...
so there is no fear at all for him...

but for me...
there are few scenes really freak me out...
there are some auto reaction which i just use my bag to cover my eyes...

somehow, i think i have improve...
at least i tried to leave my eyes open to watch the movie...
and 90% of the movie i did watch it...
finally for the first time i didn't waste the movie ticket and watch it...

in the cinema, i did think of u...
it remind me the first movie i went with u...
"phobia"
u end up become the script reader to me....
memories flowing around today

nevertheless, the movie is not bad for me...
i will give 3.5 / 5 stars

..........
..........
.........

i feel the fear now...
wat should i do

confuse

跷跷板

2010-05-13T01:46:00.000+08:00

老实说，有人陪伴真的很幸福。。。
拥有三天两夜的欢乐之旅。。。
真的整个人都开心起来。。。

虽然偶尔会想起你，想念你，不过有人陪伴真的很不一样。。。

很快就可以把不开心的事与物给搁置一边。。。

尤其今天真的很开心，因为单纯的跷跷板让我由心而发地欢笑起来。

想念跷跷板

谢谢你们

期待接下来的节目

晚安

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

我可以的

2010-05-09T02:53:00.000+08:00

我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！
我可以的！

=）

笑一笑

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

第一百

2010-05-09T01:09:00.002+08:00

这是第一百个post
从以前我就常想我会写些什么。。

今天的我。。
还是不知道应当写些什么。。。

从以前到现在。。
我的改变是什么。。。
我也不清楚。。。

身边有很多景物和事物都已经面目全非。。

。。。。
。。。。
。。。。

看着银幕发呆了半个小时。。。
都不知道想写些什么。。

今天。。
心情烂透的一天。。。
我没有安排任何节目给自己。。。

想试看心情平静度过一天。。。
或是自己尝试自己面对。。

所以，今天并没有特意去找任何人。。
不想再添麻烦给任何人。。。

但。。
却成为心情最混乱的一天。。。
早上起来。。。
心就感到很纳闷。。。
是痛心的感觉吗？我不知道。。因为也分不清楚了。。。

今天的心真的很软弱。。
以为我不会再掉眼泪。。。
因为我成功控制五天的眼泪。。。
但还是在不能言语心情哭了。。。
五天的努力，又失败了。。。

今天的我。。
真的崩溃了。。。
思绪飞来飞去。。
根本就无法集中。。。
平时爱用看戏来打断自己的胡思乱想
可是却不管用起来。。。

现在的我
渴望一个能让我歇下的肩膀。。。
就让我停一停。。
可以让我睡一会儿吗？

三年前的感觉再次回来。。。
我真的很讨厌这种感觉。。。
真的很很很讨厌这种感觉。。

在我的第一百个post 里。。
我答应我自己。。
我不会再轻易陷入任何感情。。。。

我真的很累了。。。

心绪

2010-05-08T12:00:00.003+08:00

两个星期的假期。。。

我把假期都排的紧凑的。。。
也不让我自己有任何空间停下来。。。
我很害怕，一旦我空当下来。。
我得思绪会无法控制得了。。。

做事不够果断的我。。
总是去询问别人意见来坚定自己的心。。

朋友们都说
不要这样下去了，就狠狠地一刀两断吧。。。
不要再拖泥带水。。。

每一番的话。。
我真的都记在心里。。。
也为了我自己着想，决定放下一切。。。

第一天，
心是很肯定的。。。。

第二天。。。
心开始懦弱起来。。。

第三天。。。
心是很害怕的。。。

对自己的信心，从第一天很肯定，然后慢慢削弱。。。

对自己朋友们，感到很抱歉。。
如果我自己有意无意打扰你们。。。
真的很对不起。。。

对一个人的一番话。。
其实相当不好意思的找你。。。
关系其实也不像以前那样地好。。
总是找不到适当原因或是话题跟你说话。。。。

对不起。。。
有意无意地打扰你。。。
因为，和你说话，心都会比较冷静起来。。。
然后会想起你对我说过的话。。。
我不想再让你失望了
虽然是中骂的话，甚至有点难听。。
不过都是真心话。。。我绝不生气你。。。也没有生气你的感觉。。。
但，如果是换作别人，我就没有那么给脸了。。

真的很对不起。。
有种感觉我是在利用你。。
自己都觉得很坏，特意打扰你，也就是为了要让自己的心稳定下来。。。
我记得自己说过，我会自己承担后果。。。
现在的我，却总是打扰人家要人家陪我承担。。。

他妈的，我真的很自私。。。

老实说，生日日期，是有点在意啦。。
不过，也觉得并没有什么资格在意。。。
你的作品，我觉得是最棒的。。。
哈哈。。我是偏心的人。。。。所以喜好有点偏差。。。

今天的我
一觉起来，心情真的真的很烂。。。
他妈的。。
连续几晚，都没有一晚睡得好。。。
最讨厌醒来的感觉。。。
心里真的很纳闷。。
一堆塞在心里。。很辛苦。。
不管是好梦还是噩梦。。。
醒来的第一感觉。。。真的很不舒服。。。。

新的一天。。。
继续接受应有的结果。。。

坚定的心
回来吧。。

我在等你。。。

打气

2010-04-15T19:42:00.003+08:00

今天的部落格是献给一位不能用言语来形容的老友。。
其实，真的不知道你为了何事而感到极度失望。。
但，我也了解人总有时刻是需要一片宁静来平复心情。。
旁人始终是旁人，只有自个儿能够解决和走出状况。。。
所以，我只能在这里为你默默打气。。。

你的回复，让我感到错愕。。。
错愕是你到底为了什么让你那么的不开心。。。
绝对没有因为那封回复而令我生气或不开心。。。
反而真的开始担心你。。。
想了解事情的真相。。。

平时的你不会无缘无故的乱说话。。
对别人我不知道，但对我，你不会。。。

其实，我知道我并不能帮你解决问题，
并且我也没有那个能力。。

但是，如果你需要一个能听你发牢骚的对象
或是发脾气的对象，
或是乱说话的对象，
或是问意见的对象，
我也满乐意奉陪。。。。

虽然帮不了你什么。。
但是。。
我会在这里为你打气。。。
也希望你能尽快恢复心情。。。
把不如意的事给忘记。。。
向明天迈进。。。

破烂的华语。。
希望你别介意。。。

最后

想对你说∶

加油！！

broken heart

2010-04-05T21:29:00.003+08:00

there is no basic trust between u and me...
there is no understand between u and me...
there only u and u and u, but not us and us and us....
there only negative perception toward me...
you can only see me through my surface but not the underneath....
whatever i have done u felt disgust to me...
your feeling toward me is no longer exist...
you doesn't feel like holding my hand anymore...
you no longer feel how i felt how u ...
you no longer see my beauty side
you feel between us is a mess...
you can't find the link between us...
you have never intent to want me back or even a single second try pull me back
you only wish to be the negative side...

once again...
history repeated....

when u said u had a broken heart...
i m sorry...
cuz i had a broken heart too....
if might not as broke as yrs, but definitely not less than u...

i need a media diet from now on...
to all people, dun ever find me if nothing is important..
please go settle yr self....
i m not a human solution....

i promise myself...
no matter how... follow my meal....
i doesn't want to skip any meal anymore...

yama:
u said i look like zombie when u first saw me again last sun...
bamboo stick, flat until breast also dun have...
look like kind of people have serious diseases...
look so pale...
what a comment that slapped my face so pain...

and i told u before... he is my only weakness....
i have never learn to overcome or fight against my weakness....

BUT
i will remember to eat next time...
need to gain weight...

i will not be emotional to my meal again..
skipping meal when i feel so upset....
so tasteless every time i eat my food when my mood is bad...
its just like torturing me..

no more skipping meal when u re not eating with me
no more skipping meal when u re not there anymore...
no more skipping meal when we are not in good condition...

no more .....

不屑

2010-03-24T19:45:00.001+08:00

歌曲：不屑
歌手：黄鸿升
所属专辑：不屑
黄鸿升-不屑

事情如果那么简单那就好了
想让自己不见
瞬间就统统消灭
人类如果没有心脏那就好了
受伤不会流血
悲伤也不会流泪

不需要有同类传染颓废
不需要愚昧的尊严
不需要去偷窃你的思念
自我安慰

就让我伪装我嘴角不屑
让孤独乘以更孤独的两倍
允许我保留最后一点点特权
赦免我想念你的心碎
如果我眼神里闪烁不屑
可能我心里一半地已经残废
那一半跟著你走远了的那一天
这一半渐渐地瓦解

事情如果那么简单那就好了
想让自己不见
瞬间就统统消灭
人类如果没有心脏那就好了
受伤不会流血
悲伤也不会流泪

不需要有同类传染颓废
不需要愚昧的尊严
不需要去偷窃你的思念
自我安慰

就让我伪装我嘴角不屑
让孤独乘以更孤独的两倍
允许我保留最后一点点特权
赦免我想念你的心碎
如果我眼神里闪烁不屑
可能我心里一半地已经残废
那一半跟著你走远了的那一天
这一半渐渐地瓦解

如果我还有一点点不屑
别想要说服我纯洁的绝对
我只是世界上物种绝种的绝类
悄悄的失眠了一光年

如果我还有一点点不屑
那是我自己虚荣心在作祟
自以为或许我们有一天会重叠
我可以再爱你第二遍

the most unwanted thing now is my heart

Again

2010-03-20T22:12:00.003+08:00

~ Today ~

my soul is wasn't with me....
where u run away ah?
yr master is here...
come back come back...

i have done so many wrong things today...
talk the wrong things
call the wrong person
do the wrong part in asgmt
take the wrong things
google the wrong things

crazy? i had crazy feeling now

trying to let myself calm down....
deep breath deep breath

i will be fine

i dun care i m lying myself or pretending happy..
just bear with me la....

sorry, i rejected so many invitation from u all...
but i am not in mood for any outing
=)

i think i need to hide at home for some period...
searching a nice online game...
i wanna be addicted to online game again...

cause i have done this before... it is effective...
playing day and night... forget things, forget feeling, forget myself...
if it can make me feel better... i dun mind degenerate for a while...

whatever it is...

it will be...

i dare not to hope anymore...

dear my frenssss
thanks for the same expression again...
=.=
when i told u all, u all just gave me the same expression...
again ah? nvm la.... ok de la....
u ok de la.... will be fine later...
no worries la... u temporary only la...
next few days, i will see u be fine again de... u will be with __ again...
thx for the don't bothering attitude....

( convo above do not include u =) )

what if it really didn't happen like what before?

i m slapping my face quite frequent...
when i trying to think of possibility..
i will slap my face... wake up ....

and here...
want to thank someone...
knowing that i am appearing off9
and ask am i alright..

i m fine =)
thanks so much....

dunno wat to write ....
tat all for tonight....

Rock star

2010-03-16T01:30:00.000+08:00

So wat ? You still my rock star ！！

I love my rock star！ xoxo

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Throwing

2010-02-26T22:06:00.000+08:00

I m trying hard now...

Trying very hard....

Messy thought plz leave me...

Picture of you plz leave me...

Every single feeling now plz leave me....

Bumping heart plz leave me...

Tears plz leave me ....

Just listen to a song...
Tears were shedded when the song is play...

If I do not have a heart anymore...

How good will it be...

There will be no tears shedded,
There will be no broken heart,
There will be no me anymore,

Throwing myself away...

Dun pick me up....

Just leave me there....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

spinning my head

2010-02-26T10:42:00.002+08:00

I wonder how i pass through my night ytd..........
i told myself that i am god damn sleepy...
so i will sleepy through the night...

the fact is i didnt even know am i asleep or am i awake...
i feel craziness feeling in me...
didnt even know how clarify whether asleep or awake...
i feel so damn....

people keep telling me..
not to think of it, then it will be fine...
i would wanna ask back them 1 question..
how to do? i just dunno how...
thought just pump out without i tried to think of it..

exactly same situation happen once again...
all feeling from 3 years ago came out...
i feel freak out now...

people... do not mind me for showing temple on u all..
stop petting me or ask me am i ok?
stop asking why this happen, i dun wan to explain to anyone.

wth do u all wan me to tell u?
I AM GOD DAMN NOT HAPPY, I AM GOD DAMN UPSET NOW!
AND I M NOT OKAY !
i try very hard to hold my tears...
plz dun ask me rubbish question to make me pour out my tears...
every know i am crying baby...
once u touch my weak point, my tears wont stop...
so just take me as normal .....

i m so terrified to go online..
fear to on my msn, fear to on my facebook...
i dun wan to see anything....
i just dun wan....

my head is so heavy....
spinning and spinning...

where will i fall again.....

Heartache

2010-02-25T18:14:00.000+08:00

pain is my heart,
Is just so pain...

dun cry plz..

I dun wan to cry....

Y tears is getting more & more..

Plz stand....

My tears plz stand....

My heart plz stand....

My mind plz stand....

Plz....

Plz....

Plz stop the heartache

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Move on

2010-02-07T23:54:00.000+08:00

Life is not easy,
So bear with it.

I need to move on to have a better life ...
A life that is meant to be for me....
Suddenly I feel like listen to rain's 'move on'

Random thought...

I m here again, my dear blog =|

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Feeling

2010-02-06T02:01:00.000+08:00

Somehow I am so down now...

Started to realize how word and action can be so powerful to tear a person's heart into pieces...

Part of my paper heart has fallen off again ... I m not sure how big is my paper heart now..
But it is definitely wounded...

Love is the weakest component
among other component...
The line between love and not love is so abstract & fragile

Last moment u felt he/she can be yr everything but if can be nothing the next moment.

How powerful love is?
I m doubtful with it..

Is love including Considerate and forgiveness?

Is anger and self satisfaction prior than any considerate and forgiveness?

Which 1 come first I dunno...

But I can sure is...
My paper heart was critical damaged in 2 days times

I hate the feeling of my hand being swing away... The bigger cut in my heart...

Somehow, ppl dunno how hurt it can be to me...

Hopefully i can glue my heart in complete in future...

Wishlist: to be cherished but not trashed... To be coaxed but not demanded...

I always rmb tis sentences by someone who told me quite long ago....
"I wan a gf to be loved n coaxed by me... Tat is the purpose of gf to me..."

Tears shedded =(

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Truth

2010-01-15T00:11:00.001+08:00

Feel so tired...
Need a good break to recover myself...

I m physically & mentally exhausted...

Too many things in my mind...
Really hope to discover the truth..
Wat is real, wat is fake...
I don't know

I want the truth
Really want the truth...

Lastly, hope to recover asap...
Hate to be A sick ppl...

Goodnight

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

sick diary

2010-01-12T20:16:00.002+08:00

if anyone ask me the question...
HOW R U ?
i will definitely answering u...
NOT GOOD...
BEING IN HELL NOW....

yes... i know i m weak...
my weight decreasing madly...
my health condition is getting worse...

Tis proved that...
i just not strong enough...
i need more chocolates, ice cream, cendol, KFC, MCD to be stronger....hahaha

my mood is bad now...
i doesnt have a good mood since i m sick...
there is a bee flying around in my head... wee wang wang wee wang wang...
it really drive me mad....

another things pull down my mood is..
the flu...
i dun mind to keep sneezing...
but... u wanted to sneeze and still just stuck half way...
tat is worse....
i think everyone can imagine tat feeling...
awful right? nose itchy, eyes swollen, full with tears...

plz... get me away from sickness...
izzit too late to pray to god now..

i got important function on Thursday....
is my darling zen and ai birthday...
i do hope i can enjoy tat day well now...
it will be a fun day....

mood wasnt really tat good now...
can said quite bad...

i m craving for ribena sweets...
i just finish the black currant flavor...
tat is my favorite flavor...
tat is 1 of my favorite sweets....

i wish to have more now...

too much of bitter...
so i m gasping for some sweetness...

can i have more sweets to neutralize my bitterness?

i had a weird dream today...
so weird dream...

is a dream... which repeated so many times...
but the characters is different..

so weird dream....
i can remember so clearly...
some ppl just appear in my dream in a weird way...

it was an adventurous dream

i dreamed that i argued with someone...
and he just left me beside the road and drove away...
i was crying and so helpless...

there my adventure begin...
so many small part things happen...
so many ppl involves in my dream...

freud said...
Dream is yr hidden wish list or desire or stressful event..

i dunno whether truth o not....
becuz somehow part of my dream was ridiculous true...
and wat i told my classmate today.... some event did happen in my dream...

i jsut can said...
i doesnt dare to think more about tat dream....

i have no idea...

bitterness fulfilled me...

wat i need is...

5 C

caring...

concern...

comfort...

coax...

considerate

everyone...
take care....

p/s : thx for everyone caring...
appreciate it....

dizzyyyyyyyyyy

一切尽在不言中

2009-12-31T00:25:00.002+08:00

一个让我感动入心的文章。。。

一个预想不到的惊喜。。。。

只能说。。。谢谢你。。。

利息已经收到了。。。还是个超高超贵利息。。。

但，我仍然只给你七个月的时间。。。哈哈。。。

所以你。。。努力努力吧。。。

除非，你还想给我多一点利息。。。哈哈。。。

除此之外，

我也从你身上得到一份珍贵的收获，那就是回忆

我话不能多说。。。

因为一切都尽在不言中。。。

。。。。。。

。。。。。。

惜缘 =)

Count Downing

2009-12-27T02:43:00.011+08:00

Cant believe 2009 just going to end soon...

A new year is coming =)

tonight...
promising myself...

There will be A new Me for 201o...
A brand new year is coming, so i wanted a brand new me too
=D

Thanks for everyone
who has completed my 2 months holidays....

I tot i would be boring for the weeks...
But...
Cant believe...Currently i am hunting some time to rest....
Which i think i will have no time to rest until my college start...

My schedule is full
=D

which i made myself so busy for the following weeks...

mon til sat = working ...
thx lieh for my last minutes time to earn some incomes before june is back

my boring time i fulfilled
thx for everyone who keep asking me out...

=D

there some pictures of my melacca trip

at melacca's mcdonald...taking picture if my new hat =p

haha...the cowboy loong?

Wen Jye & Weoi Loong's Fren (tour guide )...lining up for great chicken rice ball

the awesome chicken rice ball!

Me & my dear cousin

lazy to post so many pictures...
haha...
others will post next time...

is late now...

i got an outing later too...
=)

is time for bed...

once again,
goodnight everyone in the earth ....
=)

Too much of midnight

2009-12-24T04:38:00.001+08:00

It was 4.32am now... But I still couldn't sleep... I suppose to wake up at 730am later ...

Sighzzz... I think from tomolo onward, I better have some training to sleep early... Plz sleep now ... >.<

Wat a boring Christmas eve =_+

However,
Goodnight & Merry christmas everyone !!

Wish List

2009-12-22T04:39:00.002+08:00

my latest wish list...
wake up after 3pm....

xD

dun ever try to wake me up before 3pm...
kill u all...
=D

see my dear gang tonight at teng house
=)

Too much of apologies..

2009-12-21T16:12:00.004+08:00

Sorry didn't not hold on my temper in front u all...
but my mood is wasn't good at all

just count me out the Christmas dinner on 22th...
sorry...i really couldn't make it...
i dun wan burden u all to postponed for me...
i am really sorry...=(

and
you.... i know u will read my blog...
just wanna said to u...sorry for didn't replying yr msg at all...
thanks for telling me things while i just keep silent...
i was reading it....
i just need peace tat time...
thanks for it.....
ohya...
i didn't forget tat...when i was craving Mcd so much...
and u just appear in front of my house with free delivery service of Mcd.... my dinner =)
TQ

i do feel hurt ytd...
very hurt...
word & reaction cut through my heart...
it just like machine gun... shooting yr heart with few bullet at once....
for next time, i wont anticipate anything...
or maybe...there wont be a next time....

cant believe that i cried for few hours last night...
my eyes is swollen now...

but the things i glad was..
i keep forcing myself return to sleep whenever i wake up...
and now is 4.20pm...
my time just pass so so so fast.. i love it...
=)

Christmas is coming...

its was my favorite event...
really is my favorite event...
i feel so sad for my singapore trip..
i was anticipating for so long...

I tot he would understand....but he didn't too... expected*
i really feel so bored to stay home, every time stay home i don't know Wat to do...
can u imagine staying home just online offline, open fb, close fb, open pps, close pps tis kind of pathetic life....people just doesn't understand...
i finally got my target to let my time pass fast...
i put all my hope on it...
in the end..it was disappointing decision from my cousin...

i realize for all my relationship, i didn't get to Cele Christmas with them before...
i wonder how will it be? anyone...for current... i dun think tat would happen...
ppl wont come back for u just because u need someone to be with during Christmas...
dun be Too much of Movie/drama
( Accept the Reality, tat only happen in show tat u open yr door and yr loved one just stand in front of u and said surprise ! )
( ok, it might happen, if u finally found the person who really love u bottom of the heart, who think tat u really very important, and deserve all the attention, love from he/she) -> it probably might happen among my guy frens, they really committed to their relationship.... keep it on ya...it was really sweet...

last time i didn't sacrifice my Christmas for u either....
i bet u were really disappointed...
but, i do hope u enjoy yr Christmas now...=)

anyone wanna celebrate Christmas with me?
Wat a lonely Christmas..... reminded by lieh

lieh...plz get me a job .... T.T
u are my last hope...

i am very hungry now...
so i gonna grab myself some food...

i wanna be fat fat fat fat fat...la la la la...fat fat fat fat fat.....

肚子饿

2009-12-16T00:37:00.002+08:00

每次这种时间，我的肚子打起鼓了。。。
在正常的正餐时间，总是觉得很饱。。

但，每到十一二点晚上，就会很俄了。。。

哈哈。。
今天，播放的歌是。。。郑伊健的歌。。。
哈哈。。。他是从来都没想要去听的歌手。。。
但，可能是昨晚听了他的《一对对》这首歌，所以当今天下载了一个新的下载歌软件，突然有起冲动想要去听他的歌。。。

其实，他的歌我小时候都有听过吧。。但就是没什么去注意而已。。。
现在听回都会觉得有种回到小时候的感觉。。。
以前的歌风格，真的和现在的很不一样。。。
会比较慢，比较有个人歌手的味道。。。
现在的歌，都不懂哪个打哪个。。。
。。。一点新鲜感都没有。。。

今天的我，又是睡到十二点多。。。
下午，也去睡了3个小时的午觉。。。
我发现我醒来时间大概都定在那个时候了吧。。。

圣诞节即将来临了。。。
但，基本上没感觉到季节的气氛。。
是否自己长大了，所以对那些季节都不感兴趣了？
我记得，我小时候，最喜欢的季节就是圣诞节。。。
一个可以让我和我亲戚聚在一起的季节。。
可以收到很多礼物的季节。。
然后很期待12点的来临，因为可以打开礼物。。。
小时候的心情，我还很记得很清楚。。
不过，这种心情，在想在就好像找不回了。。。

希望今年的圣诞，我可以找回那些心情。。。

又是乱写一通的post..

大家。。。
晚安哦。。
=)

无聊

2009-12-14T18:58:00.003+08:00

又是无聊的一天，

今天的我，就像平时的时间起来。。。
昨晚，应该四五点才睡得着。。。。
还以为起来的时间应该是两三点，但十二点多了就睡不下去。。。

今天的我，开始对“如果你有认真过”有点闷了。。
但，还是不由自主点播了这首歌。。。

我，仍然有一个坏习惯。。。
但喜欢一首歌，就会狂播同一首歌，直到我听到都想吐了，才愿意善罢甘休。。。
然后就很久很久都不会再听那首歌。。。

昨天的我，就在想。。。
人也会不会因为长期地对同一张面孔，然后觉得闷了，就喜新厌旧起来了。。。
对另一伴会吗？
对朋友会吗？
对不相熟的人会吗？

答案就在天天刊登报纸杂志了。。
太多地离婚案，美满的婚姻因第三者介入，导致破碎。。。
一对对的情侣，因第三者出现或是对方已经厌倦对方情况下引起了因爱成恨的地步。。。

所以说呢，人绝对是个喜新厌旧的臭家伙。。

=.=

当然在这里，我得向Danny 祝贺。。。
对一颗没有放弃过的心，致敬。。。
因为你耐心，忍心，爱心，终于把一段应该是The End 的感情,扭折成了To be continue。。。
本人是十分替你开心，祝你和她开开心心哦！
不只是我,应该是我们这班Inti朋友...
=D

因为时间的关系。。
无法继续blog...因为我打字的速度真的很慢无法顺利写完。。
我得准备去Subang 喝茶了。。。

To be Continue =)

如果你认真过

2009-12-14T01:25:00.003+08:00

today...
finally the mood for me to blog again...
was so busy / lazy blog lately...
i doesn't feel sad to blog...just feel some emptiness...

was so tired lately...
i had a a lot first time lately...
it had been a meaningful holidays actually...

but somehow..there still some emptiness....

how how how?

was kinda boring with some sentences...
especially frens always used the same sentences against me...
i was having good mood actually...turn out become moody....

Wat wrong with my private life with u all?
i accept advise, but not sarcasm...
feel bored... things i doesn't wanna be reminded during the holidays...
would u all just shut up let me enjoy my holidays?
sigh.... tired...

i had a busy week...seriously so busy until begging a break
Monday = busy cleaning the room
Tuesday= hiking + set up Christmas tree
Wednesday = Malacca 1 day trip
Thursday = accompany cousin + sis in law & Chris bday
Friday = accompany cousin
Saturday = recovering
Sunday= resting + primary school gathering + movie

wat a busy week..until i feel so empty for the coming week..
which no plan at all....
suddenly so free Made me feel so scare...

how the emptiness can be fill up?

心里的空洞，到底要用什么来填补？

每次，每次都有一份难以言语的失落。。。
到底是缺少了什么？

其实，真的很想充实地度过这个假期。。
但，还是有很多个粉肠喜欢，挖人心酸。。。

不知为何，和我出去的朋友那么喜欢挖他出来讲？
难道真的没什么好说了吗？

对，我有一个外籍男友，那有如何？
有必要，要一直提他吗？

我只想好好地过我的假期，有错吗？
难道就不可让我过一个没有他的影子的假期吗？
我真的一点都不想记起他。。。因为那真的让我很想很想他，真的很难过。。
每个人都说，两个月而已吗，很快就过去了。。。
但，当中的日子，真的说过就过吗？
难道能够在24小时里，一点都都不会记起你想念的那位人吗？
有多少个人能忍受，你想念的人，一个星期只和你联络两三次，想要诉足心中苦的时间都没有？当你想找他说话，却总是找不到人。。。

我不需要你们同情我，
因为这是我的选择，
但，请不要加重我的痛苦。。。

朋友们。。。
你们真的有必要那样地精神虐待我吗？
请不要再无必要地提起他。。。
让我过一个开心的假期好吗？

今天，听会风云里的插曲。。。
郭富城在风云里唱的插曲，真的有种难以言语的感觉。。

郭富城如果你认真过

逝去的缠绵往事紧贴着我
留低笑声
火般灼热我
爱有点傻
但我甘心出错
如果你认真过

看今夜离开的决心
今后从不爱别人
心问：谁可替代你又谁可替代我
爱你的灵魂
在昨天情迷意乱怎会是我
明知痛苦怎么会犯错
碰到之时
令我这样忘我
才知我认真过

乱写一通的我竟然写到了那么夜。。。
真的很浪费时间。。。

不写了。。。
脑袋都空空的。。。

晚安

Is tat a LIFE?

2009-12-02T12:14:00.004+08:00

Speechless - The Veronicas

one of my favorite song now....
i heard tis song before but never really listen and read the lyric...
but now i fell in love with tis song...
it even turn out as my phone ring tones...

i just like it for no reason

Yes ...ppl...
i deactivated my facebook...
dun ask me why or any others questions...
i just dun feel like answering any question now...
and i dunno when will i activate my facebook again...

i just doesn't wan to go to facebook anymore now...
its just make me piss, make me swear....
or maybe the major reason is it just make me breathless

i hate to see something i dun like...
i tot i had mention hundred or even thousand times....
maybe ppl just doesn't care much of my feeling...

i sad , i piss is my problem right?
whatever emotion i had after i saw it, also is my business...
as long they still feel happy and joy, so everything will be fine...

i cant tell how much i hate of it...
i never feel so hate someone before .....

dear WxxLxx...
i tot i will hate u the most in my life...
seem like someone is even more hatred than u and replaced yr position...
i think yr life would be so much better without me keep cursing on u...
stay well ya...

i hate myself being pathetic person
gasping for hopes and cares

i made myself to have as much outing as i can...
but...
i miss my home everytime i went out...

TEH SIEW WEN...
can u stop tis kind of pathetic thinking...
ask for as much dates as u can...
but yr mind is stuck at home with yr 14.1 inch laptop & hoping a sign of him...
can u have more life beside tat....

feel so lost at tis moment...

i tot i was strong..
....
....
i really think so...
....
....
....

i really hope so...

desperate

2009-11-21T00:24:00.001+08:00

i feel sad at tis moment...
really so sad...

back from trip
had a bad headache...
quarrel with mom...
i touch encounter error...
phone bill incident..
.......
.......
......

feel so desperate

goodnight

When i see u

2009-11-14T23:51:00.003+08:00

When i see u...
u made me feel like vomiting...
u are such a disgusting ppl to me..

is my blog now...
i can write watever i wan...

do u know? i damn dislike u...
i am gonna delete u soon...
out of my eyessight

i hate my facebook page was polluted by u...
freaking unhappy when i saw u...

will update my working diary soon...
actually i do have good time during my 4 days working..
=D....thanks everyone let me do the light light job...
thx so much =D

goodnight everyone in the earth
=D

Holidays XD

2009-11-07T17:33:00.004+08:00

Once again is holidays....
was decided to blog ytd...but in the end..
hahah...i didnt blog again....

so now must blog more since now i am in holidays....
here i am ...my 2 months holidays again....

wondering wat to do...
the 1st week of holidays...really quite busy and tired...
cuz anh is going back on 5th, therefore was busying hanging with him...

after anh go back to hometown...
kinda a bit lose direction.... cuz dunno wat to do later...
blur blur....

didnt really do any outing after thursday...
parents was complain i had continuous out for few days =p
but is holidays ma....
now i wanna have a good rest...becuz since the starting of short semester..
really so busy and tired... now is the time to BREAK...haha....

so there will be few days for me too rest and get back all my frens...
i went yam cha with my f6 frens ytd night..
haha.... was really had a great time...
thanks to mr Wen Han, a 3 days older than me brother tat has talk alot lame jokes last night...
anyway....appreciated!
looking forward to drink with u all again... "get me o not? over over" haha
haha...now i shall do a small advertisement for kage..
anyone who want to apply citibank credit card...plz contact me for his number ...
haha...see... I AM HELPING U NOW ...haha

there are some plan i wan to be fulfill in my holidays...
1. clean up my desk... ( my desk so horrible, full of stuff , but i feel so lazy to clean up)
2. clean up my computer room.....
3. find a part time job
4. trip with classmate
5. yam cha as much as possible
6. fulfill all my movie appetite.... so many movie i wan to watch...there is my list

Jennifer's Body
Time Traveler's wife
Phobia 2 (yes, i am serious, cuz phobia 1 was rock! )
Poker King
2012 ( haha, lieh wei bday plan, is a must watch for him, he said he will kill me if i didnt get that movie ticket for him )
New Moon

really hope tat my movie list for november can be fulfill....
yes... i love to watch movie... ( but certain kind of movie =D)
7. Finish the New Moon story book
8. Exercise more often.....

i got alot plan to move...
haha...hopefully i can clear at least 4/5 of them....

i am looking forward of tis holidays....
hopefully it will be a great holidays for me... and for u ya (=x)

i will try update my blog more often...
SINCE I AM FREE NOW.....haha...

ok...will update my blog...
i am going BRJ for nasi lemak ayam later...yummy yummy
=D

hope everyone enjoy yr day ya...
for intian...let enjoy our holiday til the max ya!
for my dear.... enjoy yrself in hometown ya... take care yrself <3
for me.... ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY!

=D

U have no door to me

2009-10-29T15:40:00.004+08:00

If one day...the god ask me which ability i want...
if it happen 1 year ago or even 3 months ago...i would answer ...reading ppl's mind...
tat is for sure...

even though i am not gifted from the god
but i guess i would have 70% ability to read other ppl mind...
great right?

i can easily see through ppl face emotion and gesture....
and guessing Wat was their thinking bottom of their heart...
cool right?

now..i doesnt enjoy tis ability...
seriously... ppl doesnt trust my thinking...but just telling me i am thinking too much....
something like...i am being paranoid... and i thought i was being paranoid too
its was 1 of the category of personality or schizophrenia disorder...

wat is the personality paranoid?
extreme suspicion of others, mistrustful, often jealous...

extreme suspicion of others, tick, i am in
mistrustful, tick, i am in
often jealous, tick, i am in too !

haha...i bet i had personality paranoid disorder now...

sometime.... stupid wasn't sound so bad...
i do hope i am stupid in some of way....
i wont realize ppl feeling, caught ppl face expression when trying to lie, unnatural expression, pretending.....

even ppl tend to lie to me by undercover their intention...
u have no door to me.... i warn u now...

dun try to cheat me.... no matter how nice is yr word, how fluent yr sentences, how natural is yr expression....
u have NO DOOR TO ME....

hmm...it sound kinda crazy... now i doesnt enjoy mind reading...
getting me nut..

really doesnt enjoy....
i find it so suffering...becuz u couldnt help....
ppl might told u he/she is fine...
extremely fine and ok....
but... the face is so obviously show " i m not okay"
i do realize it.... but...sometime...nth is under my control..
i couldnt force someone to be happy or wat.... is their choice....
i doesnt have to ability to bring sorrow away and give happiness in yet...
maybe...i should learn in future...

to hold my emotion, is not my attitude...
i would jsut explode anything when the limit is reach...

patient is never be a strength to me...

if patience is my strength.....
the first thing i would do...be teacher ...Lol..
good pay, many holidays, less stress, and full of allowance....

i had a weird thinking ytd...
should i stop my course and change to major in psychology?
actually...i do find it interesting now..
it really make me more understand the cause and effect of human nature....
but the moment u understand more on human.... u are getting crazy too...
becuz.... it just revealed too much of human secret....
the evil side of human nature.... i doesnt find any kind side of human nature yet....

there is too much things in my brain...
my fren told me...
i know all the truth.... just i doesnt wan to accept the truth....
i am smart enough to figured out the truth...but i am coward to accept the truth....
so controversial mindset i had...

too many things happening now...
when i tot...peace is coming...
but actually is another begininng of nightmare...

now i know...
y peace is so precious where war have to happen even through the disadvantages effects is far more than advantages effectss....

however.... i wish for world peace...haha.....

i had dilemma...
so many decision to made....

when the world was extremely pity of 1 of side..
they never realize...actually there is another pathetic side too....

where i feel i am at the pathetic side now....
ppl will only observe the surface but not wat was happen under the surface....
maybe...1 day i really do have one of the personality disorder which u all couldnt realize.....

its was a long post...
finish expressing my emotion...

back to finance and psychology revision....
wish me for the best ya...

once again...
good afternoon everyone in the earth ^^ haha
=)

word of the day:
Angie want to be happy and have a piece of free mind !
=p

23/10/2009

2009-10-23T00:12:00.004+08:00

is night 12.12am...

23/10/2009...

is a special day to me...
every month there is a special day for me...
and tat is my day...

during the evening was quite anticipate to wait til 12am...
knowing tat..surely the person doesn't remember the date..
wanna give a surprise and give warmly greet..
was thinking how to celebrate today...

however...
my plan never go on .....

feel extremely sad now...
anyway...i still beginning with greet..
is was my culture to call at 12am and greet...
doesn't wan to change it at all...

sometime..
it was so awful to find out the truth..
when u really have gave trust and received promise...
heart breaking....

Wat is the definition of trust...
i really dunno...
did i take it so serious?

i was putting mask again...
ya...i do love beauty a lot...
my skin has been so awful due to lack of sleep, stress and always sleep late...

so...to protect my skin..
i used mask....not expensive mask as u all think...
it just 3 for rm10 only... i am poor ppl...

was putting my mask just now..
was resting my mind while applying the mask...but..
my tears just uncontrolled and released...
i think some of tears has just gone into my mask..
kinda disgusting actually...
but...i just cant stop it...

aiks...my beauty mask was acidified by my tears...

has plan a lot things..
but all gone worse...
was planning to make pudding cheer up someone...
becuz i remember that he want to eat pudding before he leave....

however... i just not in mood to make...

is not a mood to make it... i hate to make something nice with sadness....

i just cant do it...

......

everything was out of control...

tonight i will celebrate it with tears ....

lonely bed tonight....

but...at least...i can owe the whole bed tonight...

mom went to macau for holidays and sister went to singapore....
i was bed and room alone for the week...

* hurrayyyy *

* cheer * i get my peace for a week....

i think tis would be the thing i feel happy now...
a place to really releasing myself...

my blog has become a place i express my sadness only...
because...when come to happy things....i turn out so lazy to blog it...
but come to sadness..i just have no way to express it...

who is the 1 i can express to ?
i dun think i have anyone tat i can express to now...

i think i have to change my blog name...
it shouldnt be smallhead's dreamland...

i think should be smallhead's nightmare....

wat am i doing now..
i just have no idea...

got to go somewhere i get peace....

goodnight angie...
i hope u sleep well tonight...

我想为自己撑伞。。。我的伞只能容下两个人。。。一个都不能多。。。。

Livita doesn't save my day

2009-10-14T19:46:00.004+08:00

lately...
so many things happen....

everyone around me is being so emo....

i dunno where should i step in....
and...i feel asking and comforting them is no longer a way to solve the problem...
becuz...everything u have to walk out yrself....

i have been through wat u all have been through...
or maybe even worse than u all...

but...here i am.... i am still alive...
at least god told me tat, is still not my time to report to him...

to someone.... i hope that, u would be clear about yrself...
dun listen to fish leong songs anymore, it wont help....
so, if u reading my blog...immediately off the player... i insist!
plz walk out tis nightmare.... today wont be the last day of yr life...
tomolo will be a better day... i know it not easy to walk out but at least stop doing stupid things... do u know? all of us are so worrying of u?
i am angry when i saw yr blog... u shouldnt do tat....

remember...u always have us? u are not alone...

i have been through the same situation..i know how u feel...
but...plz let go...

i met WL again last few week...
is was a bit nervous when i saw him..... actually was shocked...
i never thought to see him again... really never...
he look fatter now.... haha... so difference from the day i know him....
but...

i do not regret having him as my past...

becuz of him... i learn to love and sacrifice for the one i love now.....
and right now...
my heart has only 1 place.... its too hard for another person to fit it...
i am smallhead, so do a smallheart as well...

so now... my heart is only for him, the only him....

sorry for not appreciating u .... u are good... u are really good....
thanks for memory...
cant believe...i deleted all our pic...
none of them was left.... it mean to cruel...
but... the moment i deleted the pictures, i told myself, i will have new start...

a new start for myself....
there wont be any of our photos, but only my next beloved man's photos...

anyway...best wishes for u...
hope u live well too... good luck....

today... i am in the emo group too...

its was a busy day for me... 6 hours class nonstop...
so tired...
expecting a moral presentation.... but its was postponed to next week...sigh!
i was worrying the whole class...

psychology class would be the boring class i had today...
i am awake.... not sleepy at all..but floating concious....
i am unconciously flew out the class...

nonstop checking the watch...hoping the class to end early...
becuz... everything wat lecturer talking doesnt flow into my mind....
feel even more suffer seeing the time pass slowly... is torturing...

finally...the class is almost end...
my break has come...
another incident drag my mood to hell....
was stun in the class.... whole body feel so reckless....feel so dizzy...
tears were rolling in my eyes...
i have no energy to walk to next class....
i feel my leg doesnt have any energy, my footstep is so heavy...

was making decision to go home or go class...
in the end...rational beated my emotional.... i attended the class...

i walked very slow to my next class...
really so slow.... and bought a livita honey to recharge my energy...
i really scare i would faint half way the class...
the drink is so sweet....the doesnt taste nice at all...
but...for the sake of recharge my body with more energy... i finish it...

the whole class was torturing
maybe..... i really should go home....

during the break...i bought another bottle of livita...
becuz, 1 bottol doesnt seem effective... i still feel so tired....
before the class end... i finish it again...

but.... 2 bottol of livita is not effective at all...
i do not feel i am energetic at all...
during the journey back...
i feel like vomiting.... not feeling well at all...

i bet the lesson of the day is...
Do Not Drank 2 bottle of Livita within an hour....

i feel so tired now...
really so tired now....

i never get the stand at the right place....
where i stand is always wrong...

is better tat i just disappear myself?

i have roles conflicting now..
wat is my roles of life ?

Disaster Mood

2009-10-11T10:45:00.005+08:00

is not a bright morning....

i begin my day with a disaster mood...
just feel the sky is still so dark for a sunday morning...
the sky is so moody today...

argg....i cant tell why am i so moody now...
but i just doesnt feel well at all...
my mood just like a disaster mood...

aiks....

i hate to begin my day with a disaster mood...
is so not right at all...
is there something going to happen ?
aiks....

i hate tis kind of mood....
and i was so hungry last night... but i didnt take any food then went to sleep...
so i begin my day with gastric...
its will be disaster day for me...
especially there are so many asgmt for me to go on...

anyone can donate me some happy mood?

my mood is just not alright at all....

aiks...

Notebook

2009-10-06T19:49:00.014+08:00

today...

i watch a movie which name Notebook....

its was a quite old love story movie...

and its was introduced by my classmates...
last time heard they talk about them... and how romantic was the story...

so now...i finally get to watch tis movie from PPS...as usual... my free home theater....

i am kinda lazy to explain wat was the story about, but i do recommend tis movie to everyone... cuz it worth to watch... i almost cry the lady just cant recognize the husband and was so helplessly shouting for help... the tears in the husband eyes... really touched me....

it is not easy to fall in love with a person u love, and he/she do love u by all their heart either....
if u have met someone who has fall on u and u do fall for her/him.... remember to cherish what u has...

it was kinda sad now... cuz...
it was a sad ending.... they both hold each others and pass away while they are sleeping....
it really kinda sad becuz until the last minute only the wife recognize the husband....

i have learned something from my psycho teacher...

Happy is not certain, it wont be happening everytime... becuz happy is just a place to visit...

" Happy is just a place to visit"

sound so sad right? mean... happy is just a very short moment only....

my mood is very down now....
somehow...i jsut dun like sad ending...
its make my heart very heavy....

and eventually its made me think alot also....

* emo *

today...

i was kinda mad...
our creative director ezen, create some ideas to play in class...
even though i have no class same with her tis sem...
i do get to enjoy the jokes too...hahaha....

ezen i miss u !!!

there are some photos...

i admit its was childish... but somehow...its was quite fun also... just cant help joining them to take pictures..hahaha....

ohya...1 more things..
happy bday to my sweetheart...haha...

actually not my sweet heart la....LOL
need to correct a bit.., happy bday to tian xin!!
hope u like the cake we bought for u... small small present ah...hahaha....

ohya... once again...
i challenge myself again...i went for a hair cut...
hhaha... its was fringe infront!!!

i think my gang is use to my hair style d...
they jsut...ohh... u cut hair...fringe ah... last time u cut before ma...
haha...low reaction...

but when i came to college...
there are more reaction ...
as usual...get laugh abit..

but there are still some ppl said i am cute!!!
haha...mostlty are gals...guy say not nice.... but my dear said i am cute...
so...others comment i just ignore la... haha... thx dear..

tis is my new hair style...jsut cant help and took some pictures

so...tat all for my post today....

hope to have mood to update my blog soon...

dunno y... i feel so stress today...
tired... stress stress stresss.........

i jsut wanna jump up and down now...
jump jump jump !

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

once again...
goodnight everyone in the earth!
=)

tired week...

2009-09-25T00:21:00.003+08:00

its has been a tired week for me...
is like nonstop outing everyday...
so tired...

X_____X

i will give myself a break for the following days...
has much more asgmt and studies to concentrate on...

ppl...plz do not find me out again..

physically very tired and mentally very tired too....
my soul is seriously damaged....

i need sometime to repair my soul...

and has been spenting alot... dead...

so.... do not sms me ..
and do not msn me...
and do not call me at all....

or in another word...

u wont get to find me...
or i wont let u found me either...

once again...

goodnight everyone in the earth...
and

goodnight siew wen....

HeaDacHe

2009-09-20T11:51:00.005+08:00

sigh.... ytd shane asked me...
u always sleep so so late, wont u have headache?

then i was very proud there and said...
wont~
BECAUSE I AM USED TOO

but so crap.... i am having my headache now...
i not sure wat time i sleep last time...
probably 5 or 6 am... i normally doesnt sleep at this kind timing...

but my mood drag me to this time..
then just let it be....

i still rmb wat did i do last time during the moment...

for a certain period ago...i was insomnia....
i always only get to sleep when is almost 4 or 5am...
i always drag myself to max tiredness...then i go sleep...
and next time i will wake up at 2 or 3 pm...
tis made my times flies fly...
i force to time to files faster..
i hope time flies, time healed......
its was the toughed period i has been through...
but thx to a fren accompanied me to walk through this...

ytd.... the feeling came back....
the day i feel i was stepping into my past....

i did all the things i did last time....

i played all the love music,
i played facebook ( last time is friendster )
i read chinese forum ( tat is a forum i used to go.... a chinese love story forum )
i read horoscope information... i played some test...
i posted some of the story from the website....
i used music to accompanied to sleep which usually i prefer sleep with silent...

now...i am having headache....

for this moment.... i hope i am out to someway.....
i wanna sit down and feel the winds.....

i wanna apologize to a fren last night...
sorry was being rude to u.....
i just wasnt in the mood to answer all yr jokes....
i just feel bored to chat...
my mood just wasnt there.....

i know u will read my blog....
dun be emo...
good luck to u.....

forgive me cause i using both side of my brain ok?
=) tat y i am emotional.... tat y i am a gal....

today is another day...
hope i will start a meaningful day later...

cheer up smallhead !

20/09/09

2009-09-20T03:27:00.001+08:00

once again...
the mood to blog...

actually not much to blog....
kinda late now... should i go sleep?
hmm.... is holidays again....

i was trying to plan my holidays schedule...
wat should i do?

......
......
......

i was stun for few minutes....

my brain was blank...
wat should i blog....
hmm...i am wondering....

today is my fish leong day...
i was listen the fish leong song the whole day....
my mood was like fish leong song mood lai tis...

down down de...
bored bored de...

today....the song i like very much is...
失亿 ( lose memory ) ...weird...the song i never heard before...but it was her previous album songs.... hmm.... but tis song i quite like.....

hmm....

another time...

i was floating consciousness...
its mean... my mind was floating away while i am trying to concentrate on something....

today is very cold...
raining day... very very cool...
cant believe i can stay online for few hours without switching on my fan...
and my finger and toes were freezing....

feel cold even without fan...
i feel so so so cold....
hmm.... maybe getting sick soon...
>.<
aiya.... sigh...

once again... was stuck...dunno blog wat...

i think i should stop here....

once again...
goodnight everyone in the earth...

饿一回，苦一回

2009-09-20T03:24:00.001+08:00

饿一回，苦一回

某一天,白云酒楼里来了两位客人,一男一女,四十岁上下,穿着不俗,男的还拎着一个旅行包,看样子是一对出来旅游的夫妻。

服务员笑吟吟地送上菜单.男的接过菜单直接递女的,说:"你点吧,想吃什么点什么."女的连看也不看一眼,抬头对服务员说:"给我们来碗馄饨就行了！

服务员一怔,哪有到白云酒楼吃馄饨的?再说,酒楼里也没有馄饨卖啊.她以为自己没听清楚,不安的望着那个女顾客.女人又把自己的话重复了一遍,旁边的男人这时候发话了:"吃什么馄饨,又不是没钱？” 　　

女人摇摇头说:"我就是要吃馄饨!" 男人愣了愣,看到服务员惊讶的目光,很难为情地说:"好吧..请给我们来两碗馄饨。”　　

"不! " 女人赶紧补充道,"只要一碗!" 男人又一怔,一碗怎么吃?女人看男人皱起了眉头,就说:"你不是答应的,一路上都听我的吗？” 　　
男人不吭声了,抱着手靠在椅子上.旁边的服务员露着了一丝鄙夷的笑意,心想:这女人抠门抠到家了.上酒楼光吃馄饨不说,两个人还只要一碗.她冲女人撇了撇嘴:"对不起,我们这里没有馄饨卖,两位想吃还是到外面大排挡去吧！” 　

女人一听,感到很意外,想了想才说:"怎么会没有馄饨卖呢?你是嫌生意小不愿做吧？” 　　

这会儿,酒楼老板张先锋恰好经过,他听到女人的话,便冲服务员招招手,服务员走过去埋怨道:"老板,你看这两个人,上这只点馄饨吃,这不是存心捣乱吗？” 　　

张先锋微微一笑,冲她摆摆手.他也觉得很奇怪:看这对夫妻的打扮,应该不是吃不起饭的人,估计另有什么想法.不管怎样,生意上门,没有往外推的道理。　　

他小声吩咐服务员:"你到外面买一碗馄饨回来,多少钱买的,等会结帐时多收一倍的钱!"说完他拉张椅子坐下,开始观察起这对奇怪的夫妻。　　

过了一会,服务员捧回一碗热气腾腾的馄饨,往女人面前一放,说 :"请两位慢用。” 　　

看到馄饨,女人的眼睛都亮了,她把脸凑到碗面上,深深地细了一口气,然后 ,用汤匙轻轻搅拌着碗里的馄饨,好象舍不得吃,半天也不见送到嘴里。　　

男人瞪大眼睛看者女人,又扭头看看四周,感觉大家都在用奇怪的眼光盯着他们,顿感无地自容,恨恨地说道:“真搞不懂你在搞什么,千里迢迢跑来 ,就为了吃这碗馄饨？” 　　

女人抬头说道:“我喜欢！” 　　

男人一把拿起桌上的菜单:“你爱吃就吃吧,我饿了一天了,要补补.” 他便招手叫服务员过来,一气点了七八个名贵的菜。　　

女人不急不慢,等男人点完了菜.这才淡淡地对服务员说:“你最好先问问他有没有钱,当心他吃霸王餐。”

没等服务员反应过来,男人就气红了脸:“放屁!老子会吃霸王餐?老子会没钱?”他边说边往怀里摸去,突然"咦"的一声:"我的钱包呢?"他索性站了起来,在身上又是拍又是捏,这一来竟然发现手机也失踪了.男人站着怔了半晌,最后将眼光投向对面的女人。　　

女人不慌不忙地说道:“你别瞎忙活了,钱包和手机我昨晚都扔到河里了。” 　　

男人一听,火了:"你疯了!"女人好象没听见一样,继续缓慢的搅拌着碗里的馄饨.男人突然想起什么,拉开随身的旅行包,伸手在里面猛掏起来。　　

女人冷冷说了句:“别找了,你的手表,还有我的戒指,咱们这次带出来所有值钱的东西,我都扔河里了.我身上还有五块钱,只够买这碗馄饨了！” 　　

男人的脸刷地白了,一屁股坐下来,愤怒的瞪着女人:"你真是疯了,你真是疯了!咱们身上没有钱,那么远的路怎么回去啊？” 　

女人却一脸平静,不愠不火地说:“你急什么?再怎么着,我们还有两条腿,走着走着就到家了。” 　　

男人沉闷的哼了一声.女人继续说道:“二十年前，咱们身上一分钱也没有,不也照样回到家了吗?那时侯的天.比现在还冷呢！” 　　

男人听了这句,不由的瞪直了眼:"你说,你说什么?"女人问:"你真的不记得了?"男人茫然的摇摇头。　　

女人叹了口气:"看来,这些年身上有了几个钱,迩就真的把什么都忘了.二十年前,咱们第一次出远门做生意,没想到被人骗了个精光,连回家的路费都没了..经过这里的时候,你要了一碗馄饨给我吃,我知道,那时候你身上就剩下五毛钱……” 　　

男人听到这里,身子一震,打量了四周:"这,这里......" 女人说:"对,就是这里,我永远也不会忘记的,那时它还是一间又小又破的馄饨店。” 　　

男人默默地低下头,女人转头对在一旁发愣的服务员道:“姑娘,请给我再拿只空碗来。” 　　

服务员很快拿来了一只空碗,女人捧起面前的馄饨,拨了一大半到空碗里,轻轻推到男人面前:“吃吧,吃完了我们一块走回家！” 　

男人盯着面前的半碗馄饨,很久才说了句:"我不饿. "女人眼里闪动着泪光,喃喃自语:"二十年前,你也是这么说的!"说完,她盯着碗没有动汤匙,就这样静静地坐着。　

男人说:"你怎么还不吃?"女人又哽咽了:"二十年前,你也是这么问我的.我记得我当时回答你.要吃就一块吃,要不吃就都不吃,现在,还是这句话！”

男人默默无语,伸手拿起了汤匙.不知什么原因,拿着汤匙的手抖得厉害,舀了几次,馄饨都掉下来.最后,他终于将一个馄饨送到了嘴里,使劲一吞,整个都吞到了肚子里.当他舀第二个馄饨的时候,眼泪突然"叭嗒`叭嗒"往下掉. 　　

女人见他吃了,脸上露出了笑容,也拿起汤匙开始吃.馄饨一进嘴,眼泪同时滴进了碗里.这对夫妻就这和着眼泪把一碗馄饨分吃完了。　　

放下汤匙,男人抬头轻声问女人:“饱了么？”　女人摇了摇头.男人很着急,突然他好象想起了什么,弯腰脱下一只皮鞋,拉出鞋垫,手往里面摸,没想到居然摸出了五块钱.他怔了怔,不敢相信地瞪着手里的钱。　　

女人微笑的说道:"二十年前,你骗我说只有五毛钱了,只能买一碗馄饨,其实呢,你还有五毛钱,就藏在鞋底里.我知道,你是想藏着那五毛钱,等我饿了的时候再拿出来.后来你被逼吃了一半馄饨,知道我一定不饱,就把钱拿出来再买了一碗!" 顿了顿,她又说道,"还好你记得自己做过的事,这五块钱,我没白藏！” 　　

男人把钱递给服务员:"给我们再来一碗馄饨."服务员没有接钱,快步跑开了,不一会,捧回来满满一大碗馄饨. 　　

男人往女人碗里倒了一大半:“吃吧,趁热！” 　　

女人没有动,说:“吃完了,咱们就得走回家了,你可别怪我,我只是想在分手前再和你一起饿一回.苦一回！” 　　

男人一声不吭,低头大口大口吞咽着,连汤带水,吃得干干净净.他放下碗催促女人道:“快吃吧,吃好了我们走回家！” 　　

女人说:"迩放心,我说话算话,回去就签字,钱我一分不要,你和哪个女人好,娶个十个八个，我也不会管你了....."

男人猛地大声喊了起来:"回去我就把那张离婚协议书烧了,还不行吗?"说完,他居然号啕大哭,“我错了,还不行吗?我脑袋抽筋了，还不行吗？” 　　

女人面带笑容,平静地吃完了半碗馄饨,然后对服务员:“姑娘,结帐吧。” 　　

一直在旁观看的老板张先锋猛然惊醒,快步走了过来,挡住了女人的手,却从身上摸出了两张百元大钞递了过去:“既然你门回去就把离婚协议书烧了,为什么还要走路回家呢？” 　　

男人和女人迟疑地看着张先锋,张先锋微笑道:"咱们都是老熟人了,你门二十年前吃的馄饨,就是我卖的,那馄饨就是我老婆亲手做的!"说罢,他把钱硬塞到男人手中,头也不回地走了！　　

张先锋回到办公室,从抽屉取出那张早已拟好的离婚协议书,怔怔地看了半晌,喃喃自语地说:"看来,我的脑袋也抽筋了..." 　　

第一次看这个故事,感触很深，好象触动了心底某些最脆弱的东西...或许我们们真的好好看看曾几何时走过的路了所以我自己打下来,想给大家看…… 　

分手时想想以前,那个陪你甘苦与共的人,一路走来..其实你们的故事并不短.. 时间慢慢过去,那些感动却一点一点封存.. 其实最疼你的人不是那个甜言蜜语哄你开心的人.,也许就是在鞋底藏5元钱.. 在最后的时候把最后一点东西省着给你吃,却说不饿的人。..

好久没有被感动过，或许在这个世界中生活，久了，神经麻木了，很少去相信这个世界上的真爱！其实，很实在的，“最疼你的人不是那个甜言蜜语哄你开心的人,也许就是在鞋底藏5元钱.. 在最后的时候把最后一点东西省着给你吃,却说不饿的人。.. ”

记得《金婚》里有一句话：“什么叫真爱？白头偕老才是，年轻时候那些爱来爱去都不算！”每个人都会遇到一个爱自己的人，只是这个人出现的时候，你不一定知道，不一定明白，也不一定就珍惜了！

所有的爱情，都会最后沉淀在平淡的生活中，我们要求的太多才会不快乐，有时候可能觉得没有了激情，没有了心动的感觉，但是平时生活中的一点一滴，才是实实在在的爱！可惜很多人都要经历过打击才能明白这些道理，包括你，包括我……

很多道理，很浅显，而我们有时却非得等到事后才能明白。。。。。。

世间有一种情感叫做“喜欢”，另一种叫“爱”

2009-09-20T03:16:00.001+08:00

世间有一种情感叫做“喜欢”，另一种叫“爱”

喜欢，只有在一起的时候，才惦记着对方。
爱，是哪怕是在一起，每一秒钟也都在思念思念他。
喜欢一个人，多数许多朋友，也会觉得快乐。
爱一个人，是多一个人，都会难受的两个人的世界。
喜欢一个人，是甜腻的。爱一个人，是苦尽甘来的。
喜欢一个人，在一起的时候会很开心
爱一个人，在一起的时候，会莫名的失落
喜欢一个人，你不会想到你们的将来
爱一个人，你们常常在一起憧憬明天

喜欢一个人，在一起的时候永远是欢乐
爱一个人，你会常常流泪

喜欢一个人，当你们好久不见，你会突然想起他
爱一个人，当你们好久不见，你会天天想着他

喜欢一个人，当你想起他，你会微微一笑
爱一个人，当你想起他，你会对着天空发呆

喜欢一个人，你会想他有了孩子，你一定会很喜欢
爱一个人，会有一天，你突然很好奇：将来我们的孩子会是什么样子

喜欢一个人就是希望大家都开心
爱一个人希望他会更开心

喜欢一个人，你要得只是今天
爱一个人，你期望的是永远

喜欢一个人，是看到了他的优点
爱一个人，是包容了他的缺点

当你站在你爱的人面前,你的心跳会加速
但当你站在你喜欢的人面前,你只感到开心
当你与你爱的人四目交投,你会害羞
但当你与你喜欢的人四目交投,你只会微笑
当你与你爱的人对话,你觉得难以启齿
但当你和你喜欢的人对话,你可以畅所欲言
当你爱的人哭,你会陪她一起哭
但当你喜欢的人哭,你会技巧的安慰她.

当你不想再爱一个人,你要闭上眼睛并忍着泪水
当你不想再喜欢一个人,你只要掩住双耳!

喜欢，是一种心情
爱，是一种感情
喜欢，是一种直觉
爱，是一种感觉
喜欢，可以停止
爱，没有休止

喜欢一个人，特别自然
爱一个人，特别坦然
喜欢一个人，有时候盼和他在一起
爱一个人，有时候怕和他在一起

喜欢一个人，不停的和他争执
爱一个人，不停的为他付出
喜欢一个人，希望他可以随时找到自己
爱一个人，希望可以随时找到他

喜欢一个人，总是为他而笑
爱一个人，总是为他而哭
喜欢，是执着
爱，是值得

喜欢就是喜欢，很简单
爱就是爱，很复杂
喜欢你，却不一定爱你
爱你，就一定很喜欢你

摘于马来西亚佳礼中文论坛

Lucky Day

2009-09-10T22:43:00.002+08:00

Today should be consider as my lucky day...

i supposedly lose my cardigan away...but my anh still manage to find it back for me...

Me?

as usual... tend to left thing behind...
all my classmate are very familiar with my action...
left the book on the table, forget the take my water bottle, left my scarf on the table, my files...
all those action is super familiar with my classmate....

yes... i admit i am careless....
carelessness had stuck in my blood which i am unconsciously forget things are on my hand....

=S

sorry everyone for being extremely careless....

today i went sunway pyramid to watch Final destination with my anh yeu..
wasnt as nice as i thought... its was like a comedy to me...
however...the way they die...is so boring compare to the previous episode....
wat i can say is...it was so normal...
a good opening but a boring ending...

movie wasnt the main part of my story...
my story was... i went few shop to look for cloth and bags...
one of the shop...Kitchen...
after i tried some cloth and return to the person who take care the fitting room...
i returned my cardigan as well..
sigh...i didnt realize it at all.

until i step in the bus for very long time reaching kelana jaya soon
only i realize... my cardigan was gone...
at first...i still very stable... i think tat must be my anh yeu that kept my cardigan...
after smsed with him...he comfirmed with me that...the jacket is not with him...and he is not joking with me...

my feeling is... the sun is cover by a lot black clouds....
swt.... dead... tat is 1 of my favorite cardigan... eventhough is not expensive...
but i really like it and wear it often...
i am just so sigh sigh sigh...

while i reach kelana jaya station...
i was so dilemma...should i return to pyramid to search for my cardigan or jsut let it be....
tat is my favorite cardigan leh.... aiks.. damn dilemma...

now...thanks for my anh who willing to spent expensive taxi fees and times to go back pyramid helpped me to search for it...
he asked me to head home becuz he dun wan me to go home late....

he backtrack the places we have been...
all the bad news sms he sent to me made be ready to accept the truth that... it has been gone...
however, my anh decided to go back kitchen to search for my cardigan..
he told tat cardigan was important, and asked the store manager to search for it..
finally! for the 3rd times my anh went back the shop and asked recheck...
my cardigan was hang on someway for sales...
err.... feel so speechless...
anyway...when i recieved the mess and called my anh...
he told me...he managed to found my cardigan...
so so so happy!! XD
yes! my cardigan is back to me... so its should be my lucky day..
thanks to my anh yeu so so so much..
who willing to walk around to help me find my cardigan..
em is really so so so appreciated!
yeu anh rat nhieu nhieu
cam on anh yeu...

thanks so much for it.....
something really so appreciate and i dunno how to express!

lastly...

thanks dear...

found something i thought i had lost it....

the feeling... u thought u lost it forever...but it has back to u was so great...

really so happy....

tat all for my blog today...
a happy day!! =)

once again goodnight everyone in the earth...
=)

p/s: i love u

September 2009

2009-09-09T20:48:00.004+08:00

time pass so fast...
is September 2009...
today is a good day for wedding...its was 090909....
i heard from radio, there was alot ppl register to marry today....

for me....

date wasnt significant at all...

a prosperity date is useless when the couple dun have good relationship at all and didnt spent effort to maintain their relationship....

if i can stay happily forever with beloved one...
even wedding date is july 14 also is fine for me...

tis week...
i am 3 x more emotional... and ppl around me...
dun mad on me, if i wasnt in good mood to talk...
lol.... it wasnt my fault... as i explained last time...

today...
i went to the new TM center myself... its was at sungai wang...
lol...actually i wanst very comfirm are there really got new TM center...just rmb i heard it from someone... nvm... just go and have a look...
am i brave? lol... i wrote i am brave in my moral value paper....

i wasnt in appetite to eat things...
actually was very hungry before that....
but after reach there...my appetitle seem as gone....

anyway...i do reward myself for walking so long by buying 2 expensive donuts to replace my breakfast + lunch + teatime....haha
hehe... its was really expensive... 2 small small donuts cost me RM5.30
its was from krispykreme donuts... its was located at time square for some time.. but i never try before..so i decided have a try on it..
not really tasty as i thought... too sweet for me...
i still prefer J.CO... my all times favorite donuts...

i realize to settle internet stuff is always better to settle at the TM center..its was a new center...i so glad the center have no customer at all...lol..

I DUN NEED TO WAIT... ^^
quite hard waiting...
especially malaysia public transport...driving me crazy....

then...after settle my stuff...i leave sungai wang immediately...actually i was plan to walk around.... last time, i used to walk around and shop around alone.....
but tis time...psychology text book has drive my breath off... and the new modem i just recieved... i have no hand d...so i decided to return to home....

i wanted to eat the donut all the time...
but it was a bit shy to eat infront of ppl... cuz i worry of puasa issue...
seem so bad if i just eat something look delicious infront hunger ppl...

but when reach monorail....i hide a side and start consume my donut...
not as nice as i thought..too sweet... and the content of the donut even fall over my hand...
i am like dirty cat hunger for food....
so i clear up...i decided to keep 1 and half donut home and eat...

not a very long journey.....

but i do enjoy the moment looking around.... seeing different kind of ppl...listening wat was them talking....

then refresh my thinking, i love to think things when i am taking public transport... seeing the scenary passing so fast...gave me alot of thought.....

i was kinda moody now...
but i think will be ok soon...
thx to woman hormon system...
damn it.... grrrr

i am going to study my psychology later...
it will be my accompanion for 2 month times....
let me build a good relationship with it...hopefully it bring me luck in future too...

i start to learn human behavior through psychology...

first...i need to solve my problem too...
i need to readjust my thinking....

my thinking is not positive anymore...
so now... i have to try....

=D

once again...

goodnight...everyone in the earth....

* be strong siew wen*

I used both brain....

2009-09-08T15:44:00.004+08:00

Sorry my dear blog...
once again, i abandon u again....
wanted to blog... but quite lazy lately...

today, i had a interesting class... the class is psychology...
why today class is more interesting?

becuz i stepped in the class late and it got a pop quiz?
No... now i understand more on human brain....

today, my lecturer explain to me....
what is the difference between male and female brain....

as all of us know... our brain can separated into 2 part... which is left brain and right brain...
have u all been thinking? why all outstanding career performance always is guy? why not woman? like chef, why normally is guy but not woman?
gal are more emotional, why they wasn't the best poem but guy are?
why guy always make better and faster decision than woman?

now i finally know it...
its wasn't female fault at all... we doesn't born lousy than men...
it just than, our brain structure are difference than guy....

male tend to use 1 sided brain more than female, but woman used both side of the brain...

right brain: processing involve visualization, emotions, melodies, expression of emotion, perception....

left brain: specializes in language, speech, handwriting, calculation, thought requiring analysis...

so...if a male musician used more on right brain, he got good sense of music and of course it will be more emotional at well. when is more specific on 1 sided, of course u mastered tat side as well...
but woman.... doesn't mastered in 1 side, they used both brain... each touch a bit...

from the research, most guy used right sided brain...
therefore, woman are more emotional than guy...

GUY, u shouldn't blame us for being emotional, we are born to be emotional!
our brain structure made us emotional....

its was an interesting class i had today...

now i know...why i am emotional...

i emotional cuz i born as a female and i born as a cancer zodiac...

a cancer zodiac characteristic:

Strengths	Weaknesses
Adaptable	Moody
Loyal	Sensitive
Attached to family	Emotional
Empathetic	May be indecisive at times

sorry for being emotional..
but...please try understand of me too....
cuz i am a female with cancer zodiac
emotional x 2 = emotional + emotional

its was a good lecture today....

today it will be a day for me to catch up "Mr thinking" job.....
i am thinking, i am thinking, i am thinking

- the end -

i swear

2009-08-26T14:28:00.001+08:00

i start with great morning but ended with disaster...

the compromise is recalled...

the compromise will be hand out after holidays..

i swear to myself...

i swear

星期六的溜达

2009-08-23T01:08:00.003+08:00

终于达到我下午的愿望。。
出去逛逛了。。。

晚上去了夜市逛逛。。。
明显的是。。。心情果然好了很多。。
还买了一条项链。。。
不是说超喜欢的。但明显的是想花钱买开心。。。
又27 杀价至 22。。。还好吧？
开心程度呢？
基本上，达到目标的六十巴仙。。。

有朋友陪伴的感觉果然很棒。。。

我在试着忍耐一些事情。。
也想对我自己做个小测试。。
想知道自己的能力到哪里。。。

我也想对自己许下一个承诺
就是。。。不要让自己轻易地忘记自己。。。。

六月的雨。。。
疯狂地爱上这首歌。。。
基本跟歌词无关。。。
只是本来就很喜欢这种类型的歌曲。。。
很喜欢很喜欢。。。

今天。。。太阳公公和月亮爷爷同时请假。。。
所以今天的天气特别阴凉。。。
整天都是冷冷的。。。
心情也跟着冷冷的。。。

刚才，答应了冠志下个拜五去爬山。。
现在有点后悔了。。。人都变得很懒散。。
以前的我都很喜欢这种活动。。
不过现在的我却爱上宅女这种无名职业。。。

这种改变是好是坏。。我也不知道。。。
就整个人都很懒了。。
什么都东西不想去做，不想去理。。。
也我不知道想做些什么。。。

现在的心情还是一样的纳闷了。。

想念外面的溜达。。。
想念外面的空气。。。

极度纳闷

2009-08-22T14:16:00.002+08:00

一觉起来。。。天空都是灰灰。。。
这应该是昨天谈到Moody Weather吧。。。
不过，我还满喜欢这样的天气。。。。。
因为好好睡。。。给我一个很懒散的感觉。。

本来心情是蛮好的。。
尤其打开部落就听到胡歌的歌。。。

不过。。。现在就累了累了。。。
极度纳闷。。

我想出去走走。。。

我缺氧

2009-08-22T02:04:00.001+08:00

我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧
我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧我缺氧

i know how fire look like

2009-08-22T01:08:00.005+08:00

i had a wonderful time with my classmates...
thx for the short 1 day trip..
i am enjoyable with it...
but i had a worse night....

sometimes...i really dun understand wat is my thinking...
same questions i always been questioned...
"u want to continue lai tis?"
"then future how?"
no matter how many time they asked me...
i still dunno wat is the best answer to reply them...

but i do tried to give an answer...
tried to confidence myself...
however, my confidence cant last for long time...
there is always another situation to pull my confidence down...

ya...i am playing with fire...
i know i shouldn't go for it...
i not good at it... so wat is the consequences?
i still have to bear with the consequences?

i always tot i do the right thing...and i always tot it should be lai tat...
i tot is for ppl good, but it might not turn out as wat ppl think...
and they never understand me.....

and i realize...
ppl never try to understand me...
they tot they know me well...
but...i can tell u ... u didnt...

i am tired with all tis stuff...
i gave the full confidence before... rmb?
but wat made me to give it all up?

yes....i am playing with fire...
i rmb!
i rmb!
i rmb!

and yes i know...
watever shit consequences i also know...
enough?
i am fed up with all tis nonsense and i am leaving myself open....

p/s:
thx for all the opinion...
after thinking for so many days... i know wat i want d...
it really doesnt suit me...
so i choose not to buy it...

now i am heading for another decision...

我明白，有些事情是不能勉强。。。
因为幸福从不伴随勉强。。。
但是，你从来都不明白我的心情。。。
难道，我的心情是不在你思虑的范围吗？
我最最最最最讨厌人家盖我的电话。。。

风霜掩饰不了最深的脆弱，但我的世界是漫无边际的

2009-08-20T14:50:00.005+08:00

今天的我，突然想用华语来写下今天的部落。。。
真的好像很久都没有用华语了表达心情了。。。
如果突然要我用笔写华语，真的有点困难，因为有些字都忘了怎么写了。。。。

但我在打汉语拼音时，有趣的回忆渐渐浮面。。。
我对汉语拼音是真的有点白痴。。。
还记得，总是把不对的汉语拼音文字打出。。。把人都看成了八字眼了。。。
人家还得慢慢猜出我的汉语拼音的文字。。。。
想起那画面真的有点搞笑。。。谢谢你们的耐心。。。

但。。如果是了解我的人。。。
就算我把汉语拼音完全打成不一样的意思，但依然会猜得出我的意识。。。
那种朋友。。。将是我一生值得珍惜的朋友。。。
想到那段回忆。。我都不知觉笑了起来。。。
傻了。。。那时的我真的懵懵懂懂的。。。
很想念。。。陪伴我成长的朋友。。。
如果没有了你们。。。我是怎么精彩度过我少年的岁月。。。
尤其是你。。让我从你身上学到了很多东西。。你是我一辈子值得珍惜的老友。。。

虽然是有些朋友都渐渐鲜少联络。。。
但。。。共同的回忆应该没能轻易忘记。。。
今天的我。。在回忆着以前的事。。。
开心的，不开心都好。。
都不想再去介意了。。。当然。。回忆需要不一样的拼图而凑成。。。
我真的想你了。。。

中学时代。。。真的很想念。。
如果选择让我回去人生的一段回忆看看。。
中学时代是我的首选。。。。
想回去那古老的建筑物，再去看看那些熟悉的面孔。。。
那个楼梯旁的小房，那个残旧却很舒服的课室，还有那个桌子让我们画的花的科学室。。。
看着那时候的我是如何度过那精彩的五年。。。。
我想念你了。。。。

在家里的时间多了。。。
开始爱胡思乱想。。。

不过。。。说老实的。。
我真的很想念以前点点滴滴。。。
真的很想念。。。

人是应该先抛弃以前，向前走？
还是应该挂念以前，在向前走？

风霜掩饰不了我最深的脆弱，
但我的世界依然是漫无边际的。。。

路还是得继续的走。。

谢谢你们。。。陪伴着傻傻我

胡歌_hu ge

2009-08-19T22:05:00.005+08:00

haha....
i believe some ppl should be familiar with tis name...
tis is a male actor which caught my attention lately...

LOL...
is holidays again...
and usual...holidays is always my day to catch up all my drama...
almost spent 12 hours just watching drama...

hu ge is 1 of the actor i saw in my drama..
LOL..he is really good looking.... so i was trying to watch the drama he act...
he is not really tat good looking in modern drama...
but...if he play in those ancient costume...
he definitely look great... i never feel china guy handsome..
but he is the one tat caught my attention and change my thinking about china guy...
he is cute...
LOL

anyway...there is another factor i like him is becuz he act with my favorite female actor lin yi cheng...
they really look cute and match...
i always tot yi cheng match cheng yuan chang is the best..
but now....she match with hu ge...also quite nice...
wat a adorable couple... XD
those drama hu ge acted was quite interesting also..is always those ancient story or about god and normal ppl love story...
i just cant stop my habit by forwarding through drama..
haha....full story not really clear...but overall still know wat the drama going on...

hu ge....lol...

i quite like his look in tian wai fei xian....although look nerd and dumb dumb...
but he really do look cute and very sincere... i like it...hahahhaa

haha...is holidays again..
i feel so wasted my holidays by jsut siting infront my com and watching drama..
so boring aslo...
but i cant do anything....since everyone is still busying...
i can jsut stay home...

boring boring...
everytime i watch some love drama...
sure will feel addicted...
then always the same thinking will appear...
if everyone have a fairy tale love story and happy ever ending it would be great....
somehow... jsut feel the drama so romantic....even it was a ancient story with lack of technology...
jsut with normal places and nice environment...
but it still can be so romantic...

it make me wanna be in there too...
XD
so sweeeeettttt

and hu ge does sing too...
haha...although his voice not really suitable for singing..
but he song quite nice... got very sweet feeling everytime i listen to it ...
and my profile got his songs! hahaa...everyone can listen listen...

i still very confusing with my thinking...
which 1 should i go for...
confuse...
which 1 should i go for....
wat is the pro and con...

i just dunno...

so i will end my blog here...
once again...gooodnight everyone in the earth...
=)

Jun - July - August

2009-08-02T19:37:00.014+08:00

Once again....
tis is the final week of my may 2009 sem...
time are passing really fast tis sem...
time fly without noticed by me...

and... i am not ready for my final yet...
it is so rushing...
i have my last asgmt due tis week and next week is my final..
i dun even hav a study break...
inti college is killing me...

is been a very long time i didnt blog..
is like i forget my blog habit...
now...i decided to pick up my habit before its gone...

alot things i wan to blog...
but i always forget....

so..i will try refresh now...

now...i am listening to Michael Jackson song - you are not alone...
I hope he may rest in peace...
no matter how many scandal he has...
he still the king of pop in my heart....
and...losing him in tis world...is a lost to us...
his amazing dance steps will always be in our heart...
none of us are able to forget how well he dance
and his song has been with us since our childhood time....

Dear King of Pop... May u rest in peace

College life is stress...
especially tis sem....i feel more stress than usual..
first time i have ever stay up until 5 am just for asgmt...
for me..i am not those kind of ppl will really do all my asgmt at super last minute time..
i will last minute la..but not super last minute..hahaha....
and...during college time..i must sleep..
no matter 2 hour 1 hour or even 30 minutes left...
i must sleep..i wont give up my sleeping time just for test or asgmt...
but tis sem.... asgmt and test are really driving me crazy....
all the asgmt due and asgmt due date come right each others...
wth...
finally until now...i finish 2 presentation and 1 more asgmt and presentation to go...
the photo are as below...

HIS presentation

ADV presentation and our hardwork

ADV group

Now...i miss my sem break xD

ohya.... wanted to blog about my birthday too...
i have great birthday...eventhough it wasnt a huge and grand birthday party...
but tat is enough for me d...
A groups of good frens were there to cele with me...
eventhough some of u all could make it to my party...
but...i still appreciate for the wishes ya...
thanks very much...

Love all the present i recieved ...
my purse, my babyG, my Hugo perfume, Flashdisk, the Sun flowers, the candy flowers and others more...
Apppreciate and Love it... Thx

family

My intian

my best gang

f6 best frens...5 tigers (2 tigers absent )

Me & 2 cakes

last week...i went to delicious at leisure mall...
i discover another damn delicious cake from there..
thanks to ezen...
delicious! my favorite cake shop...
extreme nice classic chocolate cake
extreme nice chocolate brownie
extreme nice berrillcious chocolate povlova

Finally.... i put an end here...
so many things wanna write...
but mostly all forgot d...

To all my Gang frens...
gambadei ya...
Work hard for yr future...
Good luck in asmgt and test...

To all my intian...
Final is around the corner...
best luck to all of u all..
jia you jia you....

To anh...
5 subj wont be an obtacle to u..
all the best in final and presentation..
be confident ya...

to 1 of my best frens (lieh)...
Dun be Worry ya...
Everything will be fine...
i will be blessing for yr dad...
Hope he get well soon ya...
and... take care yrself too...
faster recover from sick ya....

Once again...
good night everyone in the earth..

the end

peace

2009-07-26T16:21:00.003+08:00

i am so upset...

i am so helpless...

i wish i could just leave everything now...

i just wan peace....

no idea

2009-07-12T21:19:00.003+08:00

Kinda long time i didnt updated my blog...
i was getting more and more lazy...
asgmt and exam are ahead me...

but i just dun hv mood to go into it...

tis whole week...
my mood is like floating...not really tat bad...
but yama keep asking me....y i look so unhappy?
the fact is...i just the normal me.... where got unhappy wo...
unhappy tat time is breathing with yr secondhand smoke lo....
haha... sek do d la...

seriously...
i am going to be 21st very soon...
wat is the different between 21 and 20?
the different is just about the age..
i dun think i will turn into a mature the day after my bday...

XD

not really in mood to cele bday...
actually is very lazy to do also...

i am getting moodless to cele bday...
1 year worse than 1 year...
celebrate too many year until bored d?
no idea...
jsut wasnt in mood to cele bday....

anyway...just a reminder....
date: 18/7
location : my house
time: 8pm ++
dresscode: watever la....

some shocking news receive from frens...
its was really so secretly...
is like no idea how is happen or just a movie scene happen on him....
anyway...i hope u will be fine soon....
u are a great guy...
i believe time will help...
gals are awaiting for u...jia you....

another person...
dun even know u will read my blog o not...
being sad for very small reason and i have no idea of it.....
just the same sentences like yesterday...
JUMP OUT THE CIRCLE LA...
no more confucian...
the world is very big... go try for something new...
never try never know ma....
IF U DUN WAN TO JUMP OUT...
then go ahead lo..... gan gan qu...

lately...alot of fren asking me y i am so unhappy...
jsut some deadly voice...
i am fine ok?
dun worry jor....
thanks for all the concern...

lastly...
wish everyone stay fine...included me...
gambadei to everyone who are fighting hard for their life now...
hope all of u all are fine and happy

p/s: em nho anh rat nhieu nhieu

WISH LIST: HIS ASGMT CAN BE DONE ASAP!

if i turn into memory

2009-07-01T20:08:00.005+08:00

Hmm...kinda long time i didnt update my blog.....

finally...after today...there will at least a break..
NO test for 1 week....

last week was a tired week...test day and assignment due date come after each others...
between the week there is no break at all...
swt....busy like hell....

lately...kinda weak...
maybe my physical really go down a lot...
cant really stay up late for test or asgmt...
and really feel so sleepy when i am lack of sleep...
5 hours sleep everyday is definitely not enough for me....
but to some ppl...actually 5 hours is very enough...

ah...i still rmb..last time during secondary school, and f6...i have to wake up at 6.15 for class...and i still can stay up late til 1 or 2am.. the next day, i will be the same... still energetic
but now...even i 12++ am sleep but wake up at the same...i feel extremely tired...
my physical really go down a lot...

dun tell me i am old d...
faint... i still count as teenager...
=)

its was tired week...
and today is a tired day....
test...wasnt really well..
quite tough cuz without tips and lack of time....
faints...

i planned to sleep after i reach home...
but i still cant resist to on my laptop...
and i cant resist to open my drama again...
faint...
in the end..
i am sitting here...

repeating listen to new song from tank...
this is a song i heard when i heading to school..
the new song of tank is

如果我变成回忆

which mean in english is
if i turn into memory

not bad...
i like the songs...
is those kind of song i will like...

the lyric and the mv was kinda sad....

累了照惯例努力清醒着
也照惯例想你了
好怕一放心睡了
心跳在梦中不听话的就停止了
听着呼吸像浪潮拍动着
越没力越让我忐忑
我还能珍惜什么
如果我连自己的脉搏都难掌握
如果我变成回忆退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣我冰冷身体拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己如此狠心
如果我变成回忆终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发蹒跚牵着你看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以让他陪你我不怪你
快乐什么时候会结束呢
哪一刻是最后一刻
想把你紧紧抱着
可知你是我生命中的最舍不得
如果我变成回忆退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣我冰冷身体拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己如此狠心
如果我变成回忆终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发蹒跚牵着你看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以让他陪你
如果我变成回忆最怕我太不争气
顽固地赖在空气霸占你心里每一寸缝隙
连累依然爱我的你痛苦承受失去
这样不公平请你尽力把我忘记

there always some part of the song i will like ...
like tis song i like

快乐什么时候会结束呢
when happiness will be end？
哪一刻是最后一刻
which moment is the last moment？
想把你紧紧抱着
want to hugs u very tight
可知你是我生命中的最舍不得
in my life , u are the people that i dun wan be apart the most
如果我变成回忆退出了这场生命
if i turn into memory, and i left this life
留下你错愕哭泣我冰冷身体拥抱不了你
left u crying, but my cold body couldnt hugs u
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
think about i leave my beloved u to travel alone...
我会恨自己如此狠心
i will hate my self for being so cruel

如果我变成回忆最怕我太不争气
if i turn into memory, just worry that i am stubborn
顽固地赖在空气霸占你心里每一寸缝隙
stubborn to stay in air and conquer every inch of yr heart
连累依然爱我的你痛苦承受失去
caused pain to the you who loved me and suffering for lost
这样不公平请你尽力把我忘记
it is so unfair, so please try yr best and forget me....

the mv was kinda nice also...
but kinda sad...cuz the boy in the end turn in the memory....

the mv was about a boy and gal...
the guy is 27 and the gal is 21...
the guy promise the gal, he will celebrate every birthday with her...
they love each others very much...however, the boy have heartattack disease...
the boy have very weak body but they try to train up his body...
sometime, the boy dream tat he going to lost the gal... he fall into dark...
very lucky, the gal manage to wake him up and bring back to reality...
the boy was so afraid to lost the gal...
however, the end of the music video...the boy has left the gal...
quite sad...

however,
the boy hope the gal who love him so much to forget him..
if there is another guy who can accompany her, he wont blame or angry her...
he hope she get the happiness....

however song and reality is kinda different...
izzit so easy to forget a person?
if a person has conquered every inch of yr heart?

there is a part of the mv quite touching...
when the guy dreamed that he felt into dark and cannot search the gal...
but the gal came in time, to wake him up...and pull him from the dark...

so touching..... when u fear of dark but someone came into the dark as a light to brighten u up.... sweet =)

tis is the music video...enjoy it ya...

tat all for my post today....

once again...good night everyone in the earth...
=)

Routine Day

2009-06-17T22:50:00.002+08:00

Routine Day ...nth much...
attending the boring academic award...
which no food are left for me...
in the end heading burger king for something to eat...

things not well...
Camera battery low..
less pic are taken...
card reader cant detect memory card...
cant upload the pictures...

i am thinking...thinking...thinking...

eventually...

i am moody...

&

emo....

so....i will abandoned myself today...

goodnight...

He's just not that into you

2009-06-15T20:19:00.004+08:00

just wake up from my nap...
didnt really sleep well...
like half awake and half fall asleep...
it definitely not a nice sleep...

few days didnt update my blog...
actually got alot things to say...
but...i am lazy to start up the post...

so...today will be another short post also...
lazy lazy...

mood wasnt really nice now...
cuz...dunno y... haha...

tomolo wil be adv mid term for me..
kinda blur...cuz lecturer never give any tips..
and
i ask for study guide, she really guide me how to study...
sigh....
blur ... i waiting to die now....

last week...i watched a drama (absolute boyfriends) and a movie (He's just not that into you)

the movie...is 1 of the movie i wanted to watch in cinema..
but...time, place, ppl factors... i didnt get to watch it...
and now my movie and drama software is showing it..
so finally i get the chance to watch it....

He's just not that into you

it is kind of american movie which tell the real fact when a guy and gal meeting up...
tis movie is surrounding few guys and woman...how they face their relationship...
somehow...part of the story that happen in movie really quite true...

after i watch it...
kinda desperate... because some similiar situation just happen before...
a gal is waiting for a guy phone call...
she do anything also looking at the phone,holding the phone.... she is waiting for the call from the guy she meet up lately... and the guy promise to give a call to her after the first date...
she is interested to the guy... so she wait for the call... and hesitates to call tat guy....
after 1 week gone... she didn't receive any call from tat guy...
and her fren keep comforting her tat, the guy didnt call up her is because the guy is busy or wat...is not becuz tat the guy is not interested with her...her frens just dint wan to tell the truth tat... actually tat guy is just not that into her...

somehow...some facts is kinda true...

when a guy didnt call u back, eventhough he is say to give u a call after the meet up....
but sometime...tat is a way of talking just to have perfect ending on the date...

and... if the guy is really interested to u ...
he will cal u after the date ...within a day...

in any situation...
i kinda agree to wat its said..
if a guy/gal is really interested with u...
after the date, the guy/ gal will definitely call up....
but if this doesnt happen...mean....
he/she is jsut not tat into you

i kinda understand the feeling while u were waiting for call...
waiting the whole day..... so afraid to leave the phone away...scare tat once u step away from the phone and its ring ! then didnt recieve the call from the particular person u are waiting for...
A day just like hell for you....
keep checking the phone...
u hate the screen when it appear no new incoming msg, no new missed call...
miserable...

those kind of feelings is horrible to me...
i hate those feeling...
until a limit tat i anti my phone and hide my phone away....

expecting the person to call up...but in the end, she/he didnt.....

those disappointment... is undescribable...
i dunno how many of u all tried the feeling...
but i think if a person gone through waiting for call time..
tat person should understand wat i mean....

my post stop her today..cuz..really hav to study on adv d...

will share another drama next time...

once again...jia you to everyone around me...

and goodnight everyone in the earth...

p/s I LOVE U

=)

my brain danced in my head

2009-06-10T21:20:00.005+08:00

today is another day which ended at 6pm...
after reach home, the first things i done is on the laptop ...
waiting everything to go stable and loaded...

when my laptop is done with loading everything...
the first things i do is... open my blogspot and see are there any update....
reading others ppl blog, has became a habit to me...
is like a story to read everyday... not a bedtime story but a life time story...
from the blog, i can know how is my fren going on...

today...i read a few blog....
Among of the blog...is sharing sad news...
something unhappy happen lately...
feel kinda sad when reading the others blog also...

anywhere...to my anh, dude and classmate..
keep it up ya... support support...

tis sem is more hard than others sem...
asgmt and result mark wasnt tat good compare the last few sem...
kinda disappointed also
and start worrying =(
but...worrying will not make any changing... so i shall study hard for my test and work hard for my asgmt...
so gambadei for myself also....
everyone jia you ya...

my luck is extremely bad...
tis is wat i can say...
when u are unlucky, everything turn out worst too....
i hope the unlucky things go fast...damn scare...
i need some blessing from god...hahaha...
so dear god... plz dun be stingy to me... i dun request for good luck but at least dun give me bad luck...
god save me plz...haha.....
thankyou, xie xie, cam on, terima kasih, duo jie, nandri, arigato, kamsahamnida......

the weather is slowly slowly killing us...
seriously.... malaysia weather never been so worst....
now i can feel the heat even it was at night...
not cooling at all... is like burning...

i having the headache since ytd until now...
my head gonna break while doing asgmt on class...
IS KILLING ME MAN.....
when yr brain is jumping up and down and u still have to squeeze some idea out...
its was.... $%^(*@$(@&*((@_)@+_(!:"{

*HELP*

so tat all for today...
still to work on my asgmt...
once again..goodnight everyone in the earth....
=)

watever -ED

2009-06-07T23:28:00.003+08:00

actually my mood was not tat bad today.....
some how its gone worst when the day go on....

particularly feel everything is like not on the right track anymore...
sumore it just feel like is out of track....

i used to use my blog as a place to release my emoness or unhappiness...
somehow...i start to doubt izzit efficient and effective to do tat?

my mood was extremely bad now...
i can say is.....i feel dunno how....
my heart keep telling me tat....is not the right things anymore...

a fren told me something...
when the time come, u will know wat to do ....
i tot i saw the changes... somehow... the changes is unable to cover the wound in my heart....

my mood were good justnow....
thx for someone for chatting with me a very long time...
really thx... and i understand yr situation now...gambadei...
u will hv a good life soon...
thx for accomp me...
which the moments...i just need someone to talk with....

when i turn on to do my routine work....
i feel bad mood...
i was very excited wanted do on something....
but i didnt get to do it... and been rejected.....

feel kinda shameful actually...
i think shameful is 60% and unhappiness 40 %
i think i have been very irritating lately.....

wat my mood now ?

emoED + sadED + shamefulED + jealousED + pissED

pretty dresses

2009-06-06T02:14:00.005+08:00

i was chatting with my old frens justnow...
she was doing the online boutique
and i realize actually most of her dress really quite nice...
and most of her dress is from korea...
the fashion city...

so i decided help her promote a bit....
and share the nice dresses to all the gal...

if the gal looking a pretty dress.. go have a look ya..
if the boy wanna buy something for a gal... go have a look also ya...

the shirt and dress were really pretty....

http://dress-everything.blogspot.com

if interested..then buy from there la..
haha...

support support....

Rebel II

2009-06-05T00:39:00.002+08:00

Once again...

Rebel....

things getting serious.....

after back, fired....
fight back to one of the authority....

cant believe i request somethings i never think before....
i insisted....but becuz i am just normal citizen...
so i been rejected again...

bias

not qualified to ask for it...
rejected drive me mad...

somethings happen...
anger cover with lies....

+_+

once again, goodnight everyone in the earth...

rebel

2009-06-03T00:30:00.003+08:00

Is always happen without reason
born to be oppose
ppl always think they are great....
words are so sharp and i really hate it a lot...

i am asking myself should i fight back...
but... i remain patient...
feel like throwing things back on ppl face...
but... worry about the consequences....

tears are hard to stand...
and i am not strong enough to stand...
so teared...

thousand words in heart...
but unreleasable...

goodnight

bad luck week 5

2009-06-02T20:42:00.004+08:00

Week 5 of my new sem...

cant believe... time flies really fast ...i mean really really fast...
and another 2 more week..i hv to pass up my adv asgmt...
everything is not started yet... i am being too lazy lately...

letting my emotion to overtake my rational...
terrible...

skin sensitive...end up with bitten by some kind of insect..
really weird...i do wonder is my old wound from the same reason..
blur...

visiting a doc is exp...
visit him not enough 10 minutes....
3 medicine and 1 cream to apply took rm88 from me...
now i know... doc and hospital are the latest legal "slaughter"
just really sigh....

ytd....
really moody...
for so many years...i went in the wrong train ...
i only realize i went in the wrong train when u saw CHERAS...
then i know wat is really OMG...

i suppose to go in the Ampang train to reach my station..
which is Maluri... however... Cheras station can be reach by Sri petaling train....
is was long story....aiks...

bad luck rolling over me...
i quicky jump out the train at the next station and take a train back to Chan sow Lin...
then i get in the train..
i realize part of my headset things dropped....

sigh.... i recieve the new headset not even 2 week..
and it just bye bye lai tis...

thousand of word feel like screaming and gonna blast...
sien...bored of having bad luck in a row....
all come together...wan me die meh...

today mood is ok...
it just a normal me...

just feel floating..
quite tired actually....

dunno wat to say...i start crapping nonsense....

anyway...goodnight everyone in the earth...

=)

itchy itchy itchy....can i scratch ?

2009-05-29T20:43:00.002+08:00

It was a bad day to start...

i haven skin sensitive again...
the same area which i had it few months again...

its was so it itchy..
to make sure it doesnt go worse...
i am trying very hard to move attention to others stuff...

i know if i scratch it... its sure go worse...and it will hav scar just like the old 1...
however...i just cant help it...
and unconsciously SCRATCH IT...
omg.. sad... i just dun like it...
i still dun understand why am i having skin sensitive...
i dun think i ate anything which cause me skin sensitive...

anyway..its just getting itchier....

its was a good day for rest... but its was really itchy....
so i went for sleep for the whole afternoon...

wasnt really feel well for something...
cuz i think it is....

secondly...trying hard to force myself do asgmt...
but i just cant help it... my laziness make me say no to it....

awww....i just hate things go badly..
especially.... doesnt feel well at all.....

so...i end my post here...

AND IT WAS REALLY ITCHY.....

i m just blue

2009-05-25T01:04:00.001+08:00

ppl are asking y am i blue?

i just wanna say...

i m just blue...

=(

blue blue blue blue blue blue !

i'm blue

2009-05-24T17:41:00.007+08:00

glooming sunday with a bright bright sun....

its was a terrible weather which very very high temperature in msia...
weather is going crazy lately...
very very hot weather and rain heavily suddenly...

my mood is definitely go with weather...
tis kind of weather make me feel blue...

cant really find any exact word to express my feeling...

its just something stuck my in heart ....
i feel extremely uncomfortable since i wake up tis morning...
too many words but no one to tell ....
not only unspeakable but speechless at least...

the smallhead today...
miss alot things... and....
she said.....

i'm blue today....

feel blue today....

act blue today....

see blue today....

anti blue today....

i'm just blue...

any more color?

i just wan some .....

No take 2 !

2009-05-20T21:10:00.005+08:00

Actually i wanted to update my blog few day ago...
but lazyness always keep me away from blogging..
terrible...
especially ytd..
this is the 1st time...i KO from 8pm til next day 5am...
i think i still not very get use to use the college time yet...

i must try be tough ....
must try stand...

lately....i like to listen to 3 chinese song...
its was influenced from my frens...
always listen the songs from them... made me addicted to them too...

i admit i kinda noob...
i always will misplace myself in the song...
and then become quite sad when i listen to them too...

from the song "bad ppl" ....
1 part of the lyric is very nice

its was

容忍的人其实并不笨,

只是宁可对自己残忍,

既然爱不能恒温,

祝福就给你下一个人.

the translation is...

the person who be patient is not stupid,

just they rather be cruel to themselves,

if love cannot last and stay,

wishes will give to the yr next person.

tis is one of the very sad songs...
i believe tis song speak for alot ppl's voice..
like my frens....

love in relationship can make ppl to be extremely happiness
but when the love in relationship is gone, it can took all their happiness away also...

one of my fren...
the most rational person among us...
he always is the smartest person among us... high IQ...

something bad happen in him... his relationship ended in not a very good way...
when the relationship gone.... the soul of my fren is gone as well...
never tot tat relationship will cost a very big damage on him...
a person can changed so much when he lose something precious to him....
becuz of tat...
i have saw the another face of him... a face tat i never imagine before...
the sorrow on his fren.... is something surprise us tat when a super rational and smart person loses his relationship... he cant be rational as well....

in a relationship ..anyone of us cannot determine which side is right or wrong...
becuz everyone have difference thinking which they think they are right also...

1 of my fren said..

ppl always dunno who is the best person for them....
and they dunno how to cherish the person when they have it...
they only know regreting when the person has gone

and sometime u will think the person with u now is very irritating or treat u not very well...
but u might not know actually he or she had gave thier best things to u, sometime they even treat themselves not so good compare how they treat u...
and once u missed it.... they never come back...

Mr and Miss Right....
is not tat easy to get...
to all the ppl who read my blog...
i hope u all cherish yr partner...

even u all might not know wat happen at the end..
but at least give effort to wat u have now...
do not regret when u really lost it...

plz know tat...

chance no take two...
love no take two...
life no take two...

its mean...not everything got second chance...
when yr chance is lose, there wont be any same chance again..
when yr love is gone, there wont be any same love appear again...
when yr life is gone, there wont be any new life again...

sometime if just a small arguement happen...
just be more patient... think back wat hav the another side done for u...
dun becuz the small mistake then pick on yr partner...
to be a patient person is not easy at all... they are the smart person...
always rmb tat dun request ppl to done anything for u...
if u do not plan to done anything for them....

to my fren..
he is a great fren to me...
i hope u can pass yr tough time asap...
all of us always stand by for u...
be tough man!

topic close..
hope everyone be happy!
cherish all the precious person u have.

just the 3rd week of the class....
assignments getting more and more..
scary leh....
i better stop now to get my bath..
and start studying my HIS...
another terror subject... which is HISTORY OF AMERICA..
boring...

last Saturday....
went to pavilion....
and i get to eat my favorite U hu hu!
a very cheese cup cake...
awww....i just love it so much...

so... once again...
i ended my post here...

once again...
goodnight everyone in the world... =)

take care...

Eraser in my brain

2009-05-13T22:40:00.004+08:00

last few days...
a movie always come into my mind..
so i decided to watch tat movie again..

tat is a Korean movie...
"A moment to Remember"...
is was quite old movie i think..
at least 4 or 5 years times...

if anyone is a Korean movie fan..
i think tis movie wont be strange to them...
tis is a very famous movie...

Tis movie ....
not very outstanding... but as usual... one of the main character of the movie get some weird sickness... is a disease which the ppl will slowly slowly forget everything....
just like an eraser which will slowly erase all yr memories....
include the best and the saddest memories...

but the part i like is... how the ppl react when the gal is losing her memory...
especially the husband.... their house is full of small paper note....
which every part of the house is the full of small paper note... every paper note include the husband patient toward his wife.....no place is left out...
how the husband react when the wife forgotten him and recognize him as her ex bf...and said i love you..
but the husband didnt tear out the truth and still answer his wife....

patient for his wife is the things i like in this movie...
it was a great love to his wife....

everytime i finish a movie...
there will be some thought ....

if 1 day...
there is a eraser in my brain...
which part of memories i hope to lose first?
which part of memories i hope to keep it to the very last?
will i have the same decision like the wife?

Do i deserve those memories?

if 1 day...i do not recognize everyone...
i do hope u all will remind me again.....

if there is a eraser...
i hope it erase all my memories but not part by part...
if it erased all the happy part of my memories.... i will only feel the sadness...
but if it erased all the sad part of my memories.... i will not cherish the happy time i had because i forget how i gone through the bitter part before i taste the sweetness....
therefore.... i rather to forget everything and start all over again...

lately...
eyes doesnt work very well...
if there something tat can reflex the light...
i cant see properly....aiks....

and getting stupid...
just realize there are some bruise on leg....
and doesnt know where i get it....

once again...
goodnight everyone in the earth...
=)

30 things I come to realize

2009-05-13T21:59:00.002+08:00

1. I've come to realize that my heart...
-- melt and freeze easily

2. I've come to realize that my job...
-- as a human is so heavy

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
--i tend to think things which i dun understand

4. I've come to realize that I need...
--a method which can comfort my heart and soul

5. I've come to realize that I've lost...
-- a lot things and i regret what i have done

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
-- i been given hopes but disappointed me later on

7. I've come to realize that the person I like...
-- is a special person and hv strong personality which i never met before

8. I've come to realize that money...
-- make things goes well and gave me a lot new stuffs and memories

9. I've come to realize that people...
-- are simple but tend to be complicated

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be...
-- emo and bad mood when things goes wrong but happy easily with tiny things

11. I've come to realize that my mom...
-- expect too much from me as a youngest daughter and nagging me too much...

12. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
--never work properly...i always get problematic phone even is a new phone

13. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
--i hate 8 am class so much!

14. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...
-- i have been worry too much and it is unnecessary

15. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...
-- who am i ? wat m i doing? wat gonna happen next?

16. I've come to realize that my dad...
-- getting older which i saw the weak part of him =(

17. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
--i jus go application and see wat going on...

18. I've come to realize that today...
-- is another day of accumulating thought

19. I've come to realize that tonight...
--i will not repeat my mistake

20. I've come to realize that tomorrow will be...
-- a normal day..fear to expect anythings

21. I've come to realize that I really want to...
-- hide myself somewhere where no one able to find me...

22. I've come to realize that life...
-- goes up and down like roller coster

23. I've come to realize that this weekend...
-- boring days hiding myself inside the room facing my laptop

24. I've come to realize that my ex...
-- break my heart and i m fear to lose anyone again

25. I've realized that the best music to listen to when I am upset...
-- sad songs....and misplace myself in the song

26. I've come to realize that my friends...
--is one of the best things in my life which help and cheer me always

27. I've come to realize that the past year (2008)...
--a year which turn me into 20.. gained and lost something as well...

28. I've come to realize that the last person i kissed...
-- is a person meant so much to me...

29. I've come to realize that when people walk out of my life...
-- they just disappear and never come back...

30. I've come to realize that...
-- my heart is so weak, and i have a lot conflict feeling. wanna be strong and happy always =)

college reopen

2009-05-09T12:21:00.002+08:00

There is been a week i didnt not update my blog....
its was a boring morning so i bet tat is a good time to update my blog...

tis is the first week of college reopen...
everything going so so not very smooth...
the time table wasnt very nice...but accepted....

finally back to inti..
nth really change... the lift is still going slow....
staff wasn't very friendly.... i still cannot determine any lecturer until the end of semester...
some lecturer always very good in the beginning of semester but might turn out as an devil during or end of semester...
so better not to judge any lecturer now... faint....
i hope i would hv good lecturers tis sem..

its was a tired week..
there are 3 days class started at 8am... and ended at4 or 6pm....
errr...tired... need some time for adjustment...
i think after adjustment it will be fine...

lately connection like going very badly....
cant on9 for 2 days....
awww....i hate it.....
becuz at home is really boring without internet..
i think others might not agree with me...
i am just one of the ppl which addicted to technology...
no com= die, no internet= die, no hp= die...

haha...i wondering how many ppl are the same with me...
hahahaa.... doubtful...

anyway...is the beginning of the week...nothing much to do...
but i still hope tis semester would go through very relax...

for my frens going hongkong today....
hope u hv a nice trip and dun forget us ah...
u know wat we mean ....ngek ngek.....

and my dear...
thanks for taking extra subject for me....
feel so sweet and happy....
and i believe in yr strength to achieve it...
work hard ya... xx

tat all for my blog today...
Happy mother days to all the mommy and my dearest mommy...
=)

holidays Ended

2009-05-02T22:07:00.002+08:00

Sad..
2 week holidays is passing so fast...
its end so fast until i feel so not enough...

the 1st week of holidays..
i done nth...
just sitting infront of my laptop
watching all the movie and drama i haven left out...
then 1 week just gone lai tat... quite wasting time right?

then second of week..
at least tis is a more meaningful holidays...
i went to penang and ipoh for holidays...

AND!
i finally get to eat my wan tan mee...
its was so so so nice...
its was my favorite wan tan mee...
there is a very famous wan tan mee in penang..
and tat uncle, is depend on mood de..
if he happy then he will open his stall sell mee
if he not happy, then the stall will not be open..
so if u get to eat the wan tan mee...mean u re lucky tat day..
and tat is my lucky day...
i get to eat my precious wan tan mee...
yahoo!!!! delicious....

the trip was great...
its was a small trip but it is a enjoyable trip..
and is a free and easy trip...
we can decide wat we wanna do ourselves....
when to eat, where to go...what to do... nice!

and...
there was alot funny things happen during the trip..
like the GPS...haha...
its was so irritating when we heard the sound..
dong dong..
mean we gone the wrong way ...
the GPS only work if thianhoe touch it...
we really no idea wat gonna on...alicia almost turn mad on it...
really so mystery

actually tis is a food trip...
the foods in penang and ipoh is so delicious..
ITS WAS AWSOME..
i just miss the food so much...

and the relaxation we have...

although its was a small trip but its fun to be with ppl u wan to be...
i have a good trip ya... i enjoy the trip with my dear and my classmate...

and thx thhoe for driving all the way..
and suffer when all of us fall a sleep and still have to drive defend the sleepingness for our safety...
hehe =)

thx alicia for GPS..haha...if not we will missing all the road...

and my anh... who willing to join the trip for me...
i am so happy of tat... =)

however, happy time always go so fast...
so fast... my first sem holidays ended...
happy time goes fast but sad time goes slow..
awww...

is college time again..
and now i have no idea..which time table i should go for...
blur...

anyway... i have a good result too...
satisfied ... =)

holidays ended....
sad...
new sem begin...

Holidays again

2009-04-20T18:26:00.003+08:00

Today...i updated 3 blog ...
since is holidays...
so i am free to update my blog...

now i am having my 2 week holidays..
really so free....
at home didnt really do much things..
just rolling at home only...

i have create some new stuff for myself
=)

actually i dun really hv any mood to blogging..
but just to make my blog at least look active a bit..
so i decide to update my blog..

now...
really quite free....
and ... i wanna adjust my mood during the holidays..
to have a new me when i start my coll again...

be anticipate the new me ya...

kinda miss college day..
stupid right?
when exam, i wan holidays..
but when holidays... i too free til wan college day
mad already

tat all for my blog...
i less write feeling on tis blog already...
too open...hehe

everyone...to all my inti colleagues..
enjoy yr holidays ya..
i know u might not know see here... but
to my dear teng for going resit her test, best wishes for u ya dear
finance go go go !
=)

Solitude Linked

2009-04-15T21:34:00.003+08:00

today will be a short post...
i am extremely tired with a low battery body..
however... charger seem to dun like me, and dun let me recharge myself...
i am so tired...but i cant sleep.....
feel so bad... i jsut wanna hav a good rest and study later..
but the charger is not working...

dun feel well now...
even the weather now not cool..
but i still feel cold...
from internal to external ....
i was covered myself with blanket on the bed justnow....

searching for the warmness i desperate wanted....
however.... i feel cold with my blanket..
my body is giving some signal...
or my soul feel cold as well?

those kind of feel... is so down and alone...
just dun like it...
i need a heater to heat me up...
its is funny, i wan a heater at malaysia....

the unsleepable feeling...
remind me smth i dun like...
anyway.. i just need some sleep...

sometime... i tot was so close...
but actually was so far...
i tot i crossed the bridge but actually i didnt....
and i been withdraw to the location i used to be....

tat all for tonight...
goodnight everyone...
=)

stressful college life

2009-04-09T20:38:00.008+08:00

it has been a long long time i didnt update any post...
lately...freaking busy...
cant believe, next week is my final and i still have to pass up asgmt on tis week..
and jsut took any quiz YTD.... YTD....
WTH.... its was totally express teaching.... i mean really express...
can u believe a mgt teacher to teach 4 chapter in 3 hours class?
IS MANAGEMENT U KNOW? after express of 4 chapter then we have quiz before the class end for 6 chapter...
wth... my brain cant even absorb wat she taught the few express chapter.....
sumore...i tot she really will give us some time to read before we start the quiz... HOWEVER...she doesnt gave any time for us to revise after her express revision... swt... seriously.... i didnt study for the quiz...i just read all the part tat got stars.... and...surprisingly.... my luck quite good tat day...
actually most of my answer is guessing only... but i managed to get is correct...
i get good mark too... but my anh doesnt believe i didnt study for tat...
at here... i swear to my anh... i really didnt study much on papers...
i only read the star star part....
believeeeee meeeeee plzzzzz i amm onllyyy guuuessssingggg!

lately freaking tired...so many things going on...
especially i just finish 5 test LAST WEEK!... swt....
can u all believe next week is my final and test was going on lai tis?
wth with those lecturer? nonstop giving out test....
i feel even more stress than short sem....

there are quite alot things happen in last and tis month...
dun really feel so nice lately... especially...
some ppl attitude really made me disappointed so so much....
cant believe tat person do tat to me.... but...
i still hv to accept it peacefully and hold my anger and disappointment...
jsut hv to bear to it... go angie... u can make it! its will be another tough week for me...

NEXT WEEK IS FINAL!!
but i still doing nth right here... class make me feel so stresssss.....
i jsut wanna relax...
ohya...i went to f1 sepang last week... i work as a host in a corporate suit..
like a coordinator for the VIP guest... the corporate i was allocated is media prima..
i even met the 8tv CEO and the boss of NTV7... and the boss of NTV7 even chat with me cuz i was looking so bored there... hahaha...kinda honor with meeting so many VIP...
i should have done my networking there...but i am too shy to approach them..
maybe i need to train up myself to be more brave!
i was extremely happy becuz some mat salleh... tot i am japanese ! hahaha..... unbelievable......
they speak jap to me.. so funny...
then during the day...
when i walking pass the media hall... and photographer request to take a photo of me.. hahaha.... maybe i do look good in formal wear....

anyway... even the pay so cheap... and i become cheap labor..
but i did gained some new experience ..... tat all for my blog ya...
tired tired...wanna go nap a while.... wont be blogging soon.. cuz final coming...
really hv to study hard now..... no joke...
once again...
goodnight everyone in the earth again... =)

love the earth

2009-03-29T14:13:00.005+08:00

There is been some time i didnt update my blog...
cuz... i am really busy now....

aiks...

the coming week will be a week that killing me...
5 tests and 2 asgmt to go....

its really terrible...the sem gonna end soon..
tat y all the lecturers are giving out all the test and quiz...
and all is stuck on same week....
SWT ah....

its was a wonderful friday, saturday and sunday...
but i am stuck in my house to study 4 subj and doing asgmt....
college life shouldnt be more flexible and relaxing?
which fellow told me tat college life very relax de...
grrrr... come out now.....

so many things to do ...
until kinda breathless..
wanna go some have some enjoyment also cannot...

ytd, there is a world event of earth hours...
however...i dun thinkn tis really help much...
cuz i still see houses around on their light ...sumoreeee soooo bright....
aiks....there are so many irresponsible citizens....
actually jsut an hours... if u dun wan to swich off all the light...but at close some...
i really feel my house not bad...
of course my hosue didnt switch off all the light... we left a light behind the house...
to prevent robbery...but inside the house we light candle...
haha.... izzit romantic? haha... jsut being part of the citizen to save our mother earth...
if we dun protect our earth now...next time we really need to move to mars d..
then be neighbour with aliens lo.... everymorning wake up and said hi to them...
X_X... cant imagine how will be in the future if the world really end....
actually the earth is very pretty... y dun we jsut being more responsible to it?

aiks....
fed up with those kind ppl....

have to stop my post now...
cuz hav to continue my studies again...
Borrringggg.....

once again...
take care everyone...
and take care the earth....
love the earth plz...

robbers in cheras >.<

2009-03-17T20:46:00.004+08:00

Today is another tired day...

freaking dumb dumb me..
i set my alarm 7.15am..and alicia picking me up at 7am..
so..while i am deeply asleep..
my dad whack my leg...and immediately wake up...
and he told me now is already 8.40am...
SWT...i rmb i set my alarm...
then when i recheck..the alarm time was 7.15am...
>.<

wth....wat do i think when i set my alarm...
my brain freaking blur...

how was today...
the word i can use is hungry....
my stomach is having a civil war with me...
cuz i didnt not feed it with food...

long time never feel the gastric...
really so uncomfortable... X_x
i still rmb last time, i almost faint in school due to my gastric...

tat time... although i suffer the pain very much..
but i feel very touching... thx for all the secondary school classmates so much..
and i still rmb gane carry me to my mom car cuz i am energy less...
LOL...quite funny... gane ah gane ah... come back Malaysia already also dun wan find me...u waiting wat ah ? later my ingredient expiry ah...u haven teach me how to cook the japanese food ah...
faster come find me... :p

when i reach home...
i just fill my stomach with corn flake..
ToT

then i went to take my nap...
tired ah... i sleep only an hour ++
around 8 ++, i was awake cuz i heard ppl shouting for help....
very very loud...
i was shout..i quicky jump out the bed and run to the balcony ...
i heard the sound.. but i cannot see it was from where..
aiks...my bad eyes sight...feel so blur without contact and spec now...

nowadays...my area really so dangerous..
so many robbery cases happen...lucky tat lady is fine...
cuz everyone run out immediately to help her....
and the robbers saw ppl dashing out, they immediately run also..
wat they get is just only BREAD...muahaha....
okla..at least they can feed themselves with bread....
actually really so damn dangerous...
the gal was back from night market... then when she reach her house...1 of the robber came down from the motor and wanna robber her...lucky she manage to save herself by shouting very very very loud...i mean really very very loud...

now my house area really getting dangerous...
X_X....
sigh....
is tis another phenomena of recession now?

i feel not bad is...actually the indians stay in my area not bad...
they dashed out immediately and drive motor out to chase the robber..
but tat time is too late already...
is very hard to chase the robbers with motor..
they just can hide anywhere....

actually i wan to go night market also...
but my mom dun wan...cuz scare the robber come back...
X_X...
i wan eat ice cream ah...
yerrrrrrr.....

i realizee...
i thin jor..
maybe always skip meal and hav so many things going on..
like test, asgmt and others more...

now...i wish to go to an island....
an island have beautiful beach, alot of fruits tree, alot of beautiful sea shells...
and at tat island... i wanna shout like a mad dog...
even bad words also wanna shout out...
i just wanna empty the bin in my heart...
i kept too much things in my recycle bin....
everything i dun like or unhappy... i just move it to recycle bin..
the recycle bin is kinda full now...
need to empty bin.... hehe....

now...
i miss alot of food...
i miss my korean food..
i miss my ice cream chocolate fondue...
i miss my strawberry fondue...
i miss my japanese buffet..
i miss my honey dew lou...
i miss my cabanara spaghetti...
i miss my ribena special...

i just.....

i wan....

i feel...

keep it secret now...

once again..
goodnight everyone in the earth...
=)

the chinese mean....
sometimes...change yrself and try something new....

i wanna be like tat bear too...
=)

i am greedy

2009-03-16T23:57:00.004+08:00

Its was tired day...
Finally PSC test is over...
finally i can hv my precious break....

i believe alot ppl didnt sleep well for test...
some of them even stay overnight for the night...
at here...i hope all the exhausted ppl hav a good rest..
especially u...

how was the test?
crapped... swt..
i cant believe i can crap a 1 page essay out..
i spent around 30 minutes for the section..
and to crap a 1 page essay...
objective question?
as usual..quite tough also...some question i really laugh when i look at it...
i hav no idea wat was it talking about..
is like i never heard or read before...
there are few question is about.. according to the lecture in class..
=.=
.......
zzzzz.
swt la...during psc class i am always dreaming and stone-ing in class...
is the effect of not paying attention during class?
sry miss.... i didnt pay attention to the class... next time i will still do the same things...
haha... pay 2 hours attention to PSC class is extremely torturing...
if there is a bed and pillow over there...
i think i would be sleeping very tight.....

actually i took an hour break justnow..
but still feel very tired...
i was decided to do my account homework...
but... too lazy to touch anything..just wanna give myself a break...

and i watched stephen chow movie to relax myself...
all his movie is my favorite...no matter i watch how many times..
i still feel his movie is the best..
its was a good way to relax myself...

next week...its will be a tiring week also..
test and asgmt due date are around the corner..
but i am just too lazy to touch anything...
actually i hav only limited time...

sometime..i just wan hide myself on a island... then enjoy over there..
i just wanna stay there few day....
few days is enough already, becuz i cant stand loneliness for so long time..
i just like to be with ppl... and i will start to miss the ppl around me...

sumhow...the feeling to be with someone u wish to really very enjoyable...
sadness and happiness could be share together...

but when u enjoy the feeling too much...
u will become so greedy and feel so empty when the person is gone...

human just have unlimited greed....

and...

i am greedy too...

quite tired already...
wanna go sleep...
once again goodnight everyone in the earth...
=)

hungry now tim.... X_x

Uno Stacko

2009-03-12T20:12:00.011+08:00

today
.........

mad already...
i updated 2 post at the same time....

who dare say me less blogging...
stand out.... stand out.... stand out...

today account test...
sien...i dun wan rewrite my feeling...
cuz i already wrote it in mandarin version..

so just wanna write about after test...

surprising... i met boonhan at Starbucks...
really so surprising when i saw him...
never think before, he will appear at there..
but really glad to see him...cuz long time didnt see him already...
hope he manage to find the actors he need...

today...me, anh, alicia, and hong sing went to take a break for lunch...

before that, we went to strawberry passion...
the meal wasnt really cheap and the price doesnt really worth for the food neither...
all the drink is so expensive...
is like at least rm5 and above...
the food is around 7.90... but the drink is almost the same price as the food...
wa...how to eat ah...
so unworth it....

then we decided to leave strawberry passion and go take a break have our lunch...
really quite pai seh..just leave lai tis..
sumore the gal still smile to us...
>.<

then anh yeu ran out so so fast...
then we decided to make our move to take a break for our lunch..
after the meal..
its was kinda boring..
so i suggested to play uno stacko...
its was a childhood games i played..
so excited and fun!
there are some pictures below..
and the video...

quite funny and very interesting...
fun right?
sometime just a normal game.. will be fun also...

PSC test coming soon..
another very stress test come..
sien...i jsut hate tis subj so much....

so my blog end here today...
once again..goodnight everyone in the earth..
=)

救命啊。。。

2009-03-12T19:13:00.004+08:00

好像很久都没有用华语写部落了。。。
今天的我。。。就很想用华语来写下的心情。。。

今天是我的account 的月考。。。
考完后真的很不甘心。。。因为不是不会做而是不够时间做。。。
对这次的考试，本是带着很高的期望的。。
毕竟在读这科之前我就已经读过了。。。

很多人不明白我的想法。。。
觉得我把期望放得太高了。。
但。。。其实同样的东西我已经比其他人多读了两年。。
是整整的两年。。。花的时间比人家多却还比人家差。。
这种感觉真的很糟。。。
感觉有点像白痴。。。
今天。。真的很有压力。。。
考完后。。真的很想哭。。。
毕竟。。成绩会是怎样，我比任何人还要清楚。。。
因为做的人是我。。。很多人安慰我。。叫我别想太多。。
但。。。最后是怎样。。自己心知肚明吧。。。

看着同学一个接一个地离开。。
压力真的加倍加倍的增加。。。
心在想。。自己是超级不够时间做了。。。
他们怎么那么快就能完成呢。。。
那时真希望时间能停顿下来。。。让我把考题给完成。。。
救命啊！！！

最近的心情都起伏不定。。
心情都是大起大落的。。。
在这样下去。。恐怕快要崩溃了。。。

现在最想做的东西竟然是
想连续坐5 次的云霄飞车。。。
大大声的，把压抑的心情给大喊出来。。。
第一句就是。。。他妈的。。。他妈的。。。他妈的。。。他妈的。。。他妈的。。。
第二句就是。。。你老母。。。你老母。。。你老母。。。你老母。。。你老母。。。
第三句就是。。。很鬼死累啊。。很鬼死累啊。。很鬼死累啊。。很鬼死累啊。。很鬼死累啊。。

哈哈。。。我竟然爆粗了。。。

我发现我的打华语字比以前快了许多。。。
应该是心情不好的时候打得特别快吧。。。

压抑的心情。。。
总是很难解开。。。
别人总是说你好幸福开心阿。。。

但。。我一点都不开心。。。
开始觉得我变成双面人了。。。
在人前。。总是嘻嘻哈哈的扮演着傻大姐的角色。。。
在背后。。总是沉思着过去和未来。。。恍如患了精神病或自闭症。。。

现在的我。。。应该没有人能明白吧。。。
就连我自己都觉得好迷糊哦。。。

现在的我。。。真的感到很大压力。。。
很多东西围绕着我。。。
几乎喘不过气来。。。

救命啊。。。

哈哈。。有钱的朋友，
能否送我氧气桶？

Floating

2009-03-11T01:03:00.005+08:00

actually now i should be studying psc or account...
both test are around the corner...
however...the mood like very floating..
like floating on the sea... following the wave...
float ah float ah float ah...

today wat did i do ?
as usual come back 4pm++...
quite early cuz Alicia drive =)
then aftertat..i took a nap...
around 7pm++ only i awake...

i have a weird dream again..
i tot i was awake... but actually i am dreaming i am awake...
the room was so dark...its was raining heavily in my dream...
then aftertat i am awake.. the surrounding are totally alike wat i have dreamed...
lately i always have weird dream...
really alot of weird dream...

justnow...
i watch my favorite drama again...
the korean version of flower boy...
inside got few scene really so romantic...
but i know it will only happen in show...real life where will so romantic de...

i rmb got 1 part...
the guy said gal is like mathematics...before u solve the question is so headache, but when u manage to solve it, u will feel very happy and happiness...
then the gal replied the boy...she said guy, is like advance mathematics, full of formulas, never get to solve it, is always stuck when trying to solve, very headache.

hmm... anyone agree with above statement?

to me..
i think... tis doesn't applied to one of them...is applied to both..
if u manage to solve the mathematics question then u will be happiness...
but if could not solve the mathematics question then u will suffer...

however..love is not a mathematics question..
cuz 1 + 1 not = 2
doesnt mean u sacrifice or gave how much then u will get back the same amount ....
sometime.. u might just recieve a negative digit
tat mean 1 + 1 = -1

confusing right?
no one understand...
sometime life is so interesting becuz u never know wat happen next...
is just like...next day u all might not see i blogging again...but appear at tv talking politic?
hahahhaa... swt...
or suddenly i am not in the this world anymore...
it can happen anything....

then smallhead's dreamland will owner-less....
then less a person talking loud around you all....
then less a person siting beside u all...
then less a person eating with u all...
then less a person share present money with u all..
then less a person steal food from u all...
then less a person offering exotic food to u all...pudding pudding pudding...
then less a person less u all tease...
then less a person shouting for murni food...
then less a person say hello and bye bye to u all...
then never ever see my smiling face with cartoon eyes ( 1 line only)
those that feel i am annoying will never ever hear my voice...
those that feel my call very annoying will never receive my call again...
those that feel my msg very disturbing will never recieve again...
those that feel my purple colour stuff ugly will never see it again..
those that feel short ppl very irritating will never see it again...

wah...so many....i also list til tired...
if 1 day...i wasn't here...
dunno how many ppl will clap their hand or sad for me leh...

but...if really 1 day i not around anymore...
at here..i wanna thanks everyone cuz u all have been part of my life...
and fill up every single part of my life journey...

sigh..like writing will lai tis...
dun worry..i wont suicide...haha

today....
i not moody nor good mood either...
sien.... myself also dunno wat i wan....

wondering.....

okla...my post end here...
once again goodnight everyone in the earth...
=)

p/s thanks anh yeu for the day woman present...
special special ... first woman day present i ever recieve..
Cam on rat nhieu
=)

Woman day ( 8/3)

2009-03-08T18:55:00.003+08:00

Day by day, time has passed over him such as the wind slip over the leaves in the tree softy, lightly but quickly until…once in the morning, he suddenly woke up and recognized that he has been in here more than 3 years already…He didn’t want to wake up…He kept lying on the bed..but he was awake…he was thinking of his past, thinking of 3 years ago...” how did I change”,” how did I overcome everything”, “how am I playing my own life's role”, “ how do I live”…etc….He didn’t answer his question but kept thinking until…..he fell asleep..!..He is waiting for answers.

He went to karaoke today, he feel quite tired..becuz he didn’t sleep enough..(He really has a bad habit..he sleeps too much a day..and sleep like dying). He is not moody today but don’t know why he felt very emo when he looked at songs’ lyrics. Each lyric is like leading him to a memory…Its nt bad or good memory, its just an unforgettable memory….for him, each song is representing a person or a situation that he has passed through .What did he want is just let that people know how he was feeling…so charming moment.

Today is 8/3, he is wishing all his beloved gals are always happy. No matter when they want him, he is willing to be right there, not to do anything, just stand beside them, look at them and try to feel what they feel….
Its time to study…He was so lazy and playful…Now he has to overcome what he is supposed to face.
This is a song he wants to send to the one he loves…Dear, he wants to say that “Honey..honey..honey…cheer up, you are never alone although you are alone…You know…I want you always be happy..happy and happy”….Dear, Happy woman day!!

MLTR- Blue Night

Lately you have been asking me
if all my words are true
Don't you know I'll do anything for you
Sometimes I haven't been good to you
Sometimes I've made you cry
And I am sorry for everything
but I promise you girl
I promise you this
When the blue night is over my face
on the dark side of the world in space
When I'm all alone with the stars above
you are the one I love
So there's no need to worry girl
My heart is sealed for you
And no one's gonna take it away
cos' I promise you girl
I promise you this
When the blue night is over my face
on the dark side of the world in space
When I'm all alone with the stars above
you are the one I love
Your voice is calling to me in my dreams
My love is stronger than it's ever been

unfortunately

2009-03-08T13:32:00.006+08:00

Feel like writing something but dunno wanna write wat...
kinda lack of topic....

is 1:44pm now...
i feel quite sleepy...
and i feel my shoulder like so heavy....
feel quite tired eventhough i had a long sleep...

however....i know i didnt sleep well tis few days...
its was a long sleep but i was awake few time during the night...
its jus suddenly awake....at tat moment u still cant differentiate whether the dream is real o not... after few minutes then u will realize that was just a dream...

anyway.... now i dun remember wat my dream all about....
its left some small small pieces of dream on my mind....
but i couldnt rearrange all the pieces back...

feel so miserable now...
cuz i lost a mp3...
didnt even know when i lost it, how i lost it, where i lost it...
the common when, how, where...all i cant answer it....
the feeling is so bad when u realize u lost something...
and... the worst part was... tat things not belong u....
really sorry anh yeu....

i really rather lost my things than losing other ppl stuff...
the feeling is so bad...
its just like... u rather yrself get hurt than seeing yr loved one get hurt...
the feeling is kinda same now...
i was emo the whole day... placing DND (do not disturb ) the whole day...
dun really wanna anyone to disturb me ytd...just wanna hav a piece of silence...

i get so irritated when ppl asked me nonsense question or find me chat...
and the chat is... hello? how r u ? i am fine tq? still study ah? those kind of nonsense conversation..
i am getting sick of it....aiks...

tis week its was a really tough week for me...
things doesnt go well at all...

maybe there was a huge contrast between tis week and last week...
i just wanna go back the last week..

kinda miserable...
last week...i really feel so nice...and the feeling is so right...so sweet...
but at tat moments...i have some weird feeling.... i scare when things going so well then suddenly bad things will happen.... and now... wat i am afraid just occured...
awwww........i just hate it....

tat all for now..
really dunno wat to write anymore...
just hope all the bad things could leave me alone...
can i just hv my good time back ?
please?